Friday, October 3, 2008

A Woman I Respect

There is this woman that I really respect. Her name is Lucy. Lucy is the most Godly woman I know. Lots of fun, but also has a very deep love for Christ.
Which is why it is so hard for me to take her comment.
She has two grown children, and they are both great kids. One has Multiple Scl*erosis but still lives a normal life. By no means are they perfect, but you get the picture. I really respect this woman.
She knows we're looking to get pregant and what a difficult journey this has been for us.
The other night, she was just talking, and said that she's really scared for the future generations of the world. She went on to say that she didn't know if it was right for people to bring new babies into the world, that if she hadn't had her kids already, she might not have her own children. She would just adopt.
I was really hurt by that comment. It's so easy for a fertile woman (although she herself had 3 miscarriages) to say flippantly, "I dont' know if I would've had biological children", because I don't know is she was ever faced with NOT being able to have her own children. And I don't have any problems with adoption or people not wanting to have their own children, but please, I'm working like a dog to have my own children that are half me and half my DH. I felt so belittled.
She realized what I must be thinking and then tried to back peddle around her comment, but I just felt terrible.
You guys, "I want a baby! Get in my Belly!" (That was supposed to be read outloud in a voice reminicent of fat bastard from Aust*in Powers).
Back to the grind I go.
Dr. Appointment next week. Still don't really know what to ask for.


Shelby said...

I hate when I am faced with that. I'd love to villainize each and every person who says some off-handed comment that hurts me, but I can't. I see where she's coming from, but she's really missing the sensitivity boat on this one.

And like you, I would like that baby to "get in mah bellay!" Lol.

Leslie Laine said...

I know it's hard to hear someone, especially someone you respect, say things that are so insensitive. I try to remember that most people just don't get it, and I really try to appreciate the few in my life who do.

You're right - it's easy for "fertiles" to say that they might have done something differently -

That's one of the most difficult parts of this IF experience - dealing with others' insensitivity.

Alex and Jill said...

I'm sorry your friend said that. Unfortunately, we have to grant the fertiles grace sometimes. ;)

Oh, and I totally heard fat bastard in my head while reading that comment! LOL

Chin up, sweetie...this is one of those instances where a friend sticks her foot in her mouth. If she was back peddling...she knew what she said hurt you and was trying to make it right. Doesn't make it hurt any less but makes it easier to forgive, I think.

Always praying...


Hope2morrow said...

I'm sorry for your friend's comments. I can tell it stung you like a bee, but she knew she had hurt you. She tried to fix it in the best way she knew how by back pedaling.

Go with your gut on the doctor issue, girl!

I Believe in Miracles said...

I like the "get in my belly"! Echo that sentiment greatly.

For me - I always like to ask the dr, what's next. And then if that doesn't work, what's next... etc. I like to know where I'm going, what the solution is and how we can "fix" this problem that is inhibiting a great big belly. Course it doesn't always work that easily... but that's my aim for the dr visits.


CTagsGirl said...

Ouch. That really stings, doesn't it?! It does sound like she was sensitive enough to realize that she had hurt your feelings with her comment.

Remember, God also told us to be fruitful and multiply! I'm pretty sure there wasn't an *asterisk* next to the passage that said: "But only if the world is a perfect place to raise children."

*hugs* I ditto what Nity said about asking the doc...what next?