Monday, April 27, 2009


So I had another appointment Thursday. The teaching and an ultrasound. The DOC actually did the ultrasound which threw me for a loop. I don't know why, he's the pro, but the ultrasound tech (Joan) is so great I guess I just kind of missed her.
All looks good.
I have a question:
I have been spotting like mad since Friday. It's not full-fledged AF, but it's no shrinking violet (whatever that means in my analogy), but when I called the office today, they said it's no big deal. I'm still on the nuva so my period shouldn't start, but today would've been CD 28 of a regular cycle for me.
This Thursday Is my next ultrasound and I'm due to take out the Nuva Ring, so maybe that's why the office isn't worried, but if I'm supposed to start meds on CD1, then shouldn't they want to know when that is and what's going on?
I suppose I'll call back, but has AF arrived early for any of you ladies? Where you started while on BCP?
I'll take advice!

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Meds and Moms

Here it is. I got the IVF meds on Saturday AM. It's amazing what 3000 dollars can look like. In our case, here it is, all in the box. All I can say is:

"that's a freakin' lot of needles!" Shown below are the refridgerated ones next to the milk. Awesome.

But I'll wait until after my teaching appointment on Thursday to get too worried about that. I'm not scared of needles as much as I'm scared of screwing up the shots.

But then, check this out. Today after church my husband and mom and I went out to Is.lands restaurant. We had previously told her we were going to do IVF and I must say that she is overjoyed. Not in a selfish way, but because she knows that this is what we've been trying to do for 3 years. So today she asked some more questions and we talked about the actual process with her a bit.
As we were saying goodbye in the parking lot, my mom says, "I'm going to give you guys 3,000 Dollars towards IVF". My husband and I stared at her and said that we wouldn't expect such a gift and that she doesn't have to do that at all. Then she said she's been thinking about this for a while, and really feels that if she has the money now and we need it that she wants to help. But you guys, check this out, that's the exact amount that we were going to have to pull out of our summer savings (since we're teachers) and hope that we were able to replace when the time comes. Our total is 11,000 and last year we started a 'baby fund' of course hoping that would be for baby furniture, but thinking it could possibly be for this. That has about 3,000 in it. Then this year our tax return was around 5,000 (so far we're at 8,000) and with my mom's 3,000 this isn't nearly as much of a burden to our finances as we thought it would be. Again, when I told her this in the parking lot this afternoon we all almost started crying.
I feel good about this decision. Today was major confirmation that this is what we're supposed to be doing (and I'm hoping it's for a baby at the end of it, not for the journey involved, but I'll take whatever God wants to give me).
Moving forward! "knocked up in '09!"
Next appointment this Thursday for ultrasound to see if cyst is gone and teaching class for injections. Crazy!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

A Hysterocsopy Story

This morning as I was getting ready to go the RE, I watched a bit of A Baby Story on TLC. I've skipped those for the past few years, but I thought some positive thinking and viewing might help.
So my DH and I went to the office and first they did my vital signs and took some blood. Then, I got naked from the waste down, but what I thought was thoughtful, is that they gave me an extra blanket to wrap around myself like a saraong so my bootie doesn't hang out as I walk around the office (the front rooms are far from the 'surgery' rooms).
First, can I just say: Wow, that room in the back is crazy. There were padded leg rests, none of that cheap stirrup business for surgery! I had a special screen above my head so I could see everything the Doctor was doing.
We started with a regular ultrasound (I'm on the second full week of birthcontrol pills) and pretty quickly the Doc found my egg reserves and said they look great, he saw 12-15 on each side (me, I just saw a slightly more blurry area on the screen than the other blury areas), but then on my left ovary he found a Cyst. Boo for finding a cyst. But I had mentioned to him earlier that this morning I saw I had been spotting a little bit, and once he saw the cyst he said that the spotting makes perfect sense and that they should check my E2 levels. He didn't seem too concerned, but I know cysts can cancel cycles, right?
Anywho, that was followed by the mock transfer for the uterus, and that was slightly more intense, It felt like a really long IUI.
Then came the hysteroscopy. It was weird! They used a fiberoptic camera to look at everything in side, to be sure there wer no polyups or fibroids. I saw everything! I now know exactly what my uterus looks like. I told the Doc that I felt like I was watching National Geogra.phic. That one got a laugh out of him.
The hysteroscopy looked good and if it weren't for that cyst everything would be perfect.
They did give me a xa.nex before the procedure, and I didn't really feel it until we were about halfway through the whole thing and then I felt just fine. I totally get why people are addicted that stuff. Right on.
So now, next week is my teaching class, and they'll do an ultrasound again to be sure that the cyst has gone away. They changed my birth control and now I'm using the Nuva Ring (the one that stays in your Va.gina) as well as the pills for a few days and then I'll be finished with the pills early and the nuva ring will take care of things. I'm not sure how I feel about the ring, but hey, it's not the weirdest thing that was in my va.gina today, right?
On to the next,
Still hoping for 'knocked up in '09'!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Next Steps...

We're back!
Dh and I took a short vacation up the CA coast for a few days. We left right after church on Sunday and got home earlier today in time for our Good Friday service. I do this willingly. I play in the band at church and when we first started this church ( my dh and I lead the children's ministry and I stopped playing for about a year. It was a great chance for me to realize I shouldn't hold onto things so tightly, but I really love that I've been able to rejoin the band now that we have a paid children's pastor.
Enough jabber about the band.
So I'm working through the Birth control. It's going well, but I finally understand what all of you have been saying, it feels so counter productive to be on birth control. I'm just telling myself that I'm on hormones to help me have a baby. My dh is rallying hoping that somehow we'll get pregnant while on birth control. Now he knows this is not such a good idea, but somehow that seems easier for him than watching me get shots for hte next few months.
Oh well, here we come. This Wednesday will be my ... hyster...o..somthing where the Doc will look at my uterus to make sure there are not polyups or abnormalities and to ensure that he will know where to place the embreyo's. Does anyone remember what this is called? Does anyone have any experience with it?
I was told I'll have a light sedative going into it so I can't drive myself home. That doesn't sound good, right?
Oh well, I'll find out monday what time on Wednesday. Hopefully in the afternoon so I can miss as little work as possible.
I hope you all have a great weekend of Easter and Good Friday!

Saturday, April 4, 2009

What a Maroon.

Do you want to hear a story? I shall tell you my story. It involves me, birth control and leaving work early.
So, IVF here we come! I picked up my BCPs on Thursday night and took my first around 7PM as directed by my doc. Well, from 3 years ago (the last time I was on BCPs) I remembered that I do better remembering to take my pills when I take them in the morning. So I took the second Friday morning at 6:30 before work.
I am currently on weight watchers (almost perpetually), so while I had eaten all my points, I certainly wasn't feeling full and didn't have a lot of food to spare in my stomach.
You may be able to see where I'm going with this.
Now, Cut to 3rd period on Friday. I'm a high school teacher and it is the last day before Spring Break. I was wearing a sweatshirt because it's slightly cool here (cool for me is anything under 72 degress I'm embarassed to admit). All of a sudden, I don't feel well. I feel incredibly nautious and incredibly hot. I have taught two periods with no problems and within 5 minutes, I really don't even feel like I can stand up! So I walked over to my desk, took my sweatshirt off (I had a shirt underneath, it's not THAT kind of story) and slumped over in my chair. I didn't pass out, but suddenly my class of 20 boys and 8 girls are staring at me because I look like I'm going to pass out. One of my boys says, 'Um, Mrs. M. are you okay?". I said, "I feel awful you guys, I don't know what happened, and no, I'm not pregnant". They looked at me in horror and said I looked completely pale.
I was able (barely) to get to my laptop so they could start writing down some notes, and then I had to just sit in my chair feeling terrible for the rest of the period. I put my head between my knees and they thought I was going to barf (they thought that part was actually funny and started talking about barfing - it is twenty 15/16 year boys in there after all). I didn't throw up, but I started considering my options. I had 4th period coming in, but then a nice long break before 6th period. Should I fight it? I have never in 8 years left work early, but when I can't even sit up, what's a girl to do?
So 4th period I have an adult sp. ed. aid who was great and ran the class while I sat in my chair, but I just felt terrible still. My nausia was starting to come in waves, a little better, a little worse. I was cold and pale which was weird after my hot flash.
It didn't take long for me to realize it was probably the BCPs and me being a dummy for taking them so close together with only a small bowl of cocoa puffs in my stomach.
So I decided to call the office and get a sub for sixth (which is like impossible on a friday before a vacation, but praise Jesus, they found someone willing to sub for me) and my DH came and followed me home in his car (his school had a minimum day yesterday). On the way home DH called the pharmacy and told them what happened, and they said that on the Nor.tdel (I think that's the name of the BCPs I was prescribed) that nausia is pretty common and if I took two doses so close together that would explain everything. For .05 seconds I was worried I was having Toxis Sh.ock Syndrom, or that I actually was pregnant (I tested again even though I just finished my period - Neg. naturally), but after I ate lunch, I felt about a bazillion times better and am now left feeling really stupid for having to leave work early.
you only live once, and I got to have a nice afternoon with my DH.

If this is two days of BCPs, what will all my 'hard core' IVF drugs be like! Yikes! Jesus come soon!

I'm a maroon. A Nincompoop even.

Hoping for:'knocked up '09!'

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Poop or Get off the Pot

Those weren't the exact words my husband uttered, but you get the idea.

This whole thing has come so quickly. AF came monday. DH and I talked about getting more information from the RE. I called Tuesday and found that with my work schedule over summer school (it's almost impossible to get a week off when school is only 6 weeks long) I don't think we can do IVF during June or July. August only gives us a 3 week break before going back to work and by then DH is in football and I could possibly be at a new school site, so trying to get a week of at that point would be a huge inconvience.
So this gives us two IVF options: IVF in January of 2010, or IVF in May.
Um, we're thinking May.
There have been some pretty crazy moments at our household the last 48 hours, trying to decide if moving this quickly means we're 'taking God out of the equation', or if we're 'utilizing the technology that God has given us humans'. We're completely aware that regardless of technology that God is still in charge, but I think some of this has caught DH by surprise. I would like to point out that this May will be 3 years of trying to become parents. (hence the title of this post). So we've decided that there is nothing to be gained from waiting and that God is absolutely in this equation and ... I'm pretty nervous.
I am supposed to start BCPs tomorrow night and then go in for a hysteroscopy (? - the one where the Doc looks to make sure there are no polyups or abnormalities) on April 15th. Then injectibles will follow at the end of the following week.

I can't believe this is where we're at, and I'm thrilled that life is about to get a LOT more unpredictable. This is my opportunity to grow in my faith in the Lord.
Hang on Ovaries, We're taking you for a ride!

Hoping to be 'knocked up in '09!'