Monday, October 13, 2008

Decisions

So...
I don't think I've ever been this scared. Not the middle of the night scared, but scared of reality. It seems impossible to accept that my husband and I are infertile. Or that one of our challenges in life is dealing with IF. You would think I would've figured this out before now, but the truth is, I just keep thinking, maybe this is our month. I think, "what a great story we'll have to share with others about our journey... maybe someday we'll be a comfort to another family!".
So I have a hard time grasping that I'm the one who is in need of comfort. I must say, I can't imagine us going this alone. If I didn't have the wonderful experience of all of you ladies, and a few friends IRL that have been down this journey, I just don't know how I would be dealing.
I'm scared.
I'm scared to go into debt for this.
I'm scared not to go into debt for this.
I'm scared that IVF won't work.
I'm scared that skipping IUI's is a bad idea.
I'm more scared that skipping IUI's is a good idea.
I'm scared that my DH and I are the only ones making this decision. No one else's input matters (although it is always solicited). We are the responsible party.

So, for all of those of you who went through IVF, how invasive was it for you? In regards to everything. Time? Money? Relationship with DH? Relationship with other friends and family members?

I'm in the process of making decisions. And praying. Oh yes, lots of praying.
Thanks girls.

3 comments:

Hope2morrow said...

In my opinion, IVF was very invasive. I think the thing that scared me the most was -"This is the end of the road if it doesn't work." The good news is that it isn't. If it doesn't work, hopefully you'll have frozen blastocysts, and the frozen cycles are much less invasive, in my opinion.

Do you mind if I ask why you are considering skipping IUIs? Does your insurance cover anything?

Ultimately, this decision has to be one oyu are comfortable with or you will fret the entire cycle, which is not good for you at all. Pray for peace with this decision. I'm praying for that for you right now.

'Murgdan' said...

Don't have any real advice for you--just wanted to say I can totally relate. I'm scared too! We only have the IVF option, and it's terrifying how much it will cost, how much of a gamble (emotional and otherwise) it will be.

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