Wednesday, July 2, 2008

No Clever Title

Just a BFN.
Really. All day I thought 'maybe this is it'. I was sitting at my desk while my summer school students were taking a test on the Constitution. I was thinking about baby names. I was thinking of reasons it would not be good to be pregnant this cycle... New Job, No White Water Rafting trip this summer, etc. But in my heart, I hoped I was pregnant.
But I'm not. AF came one day early. But I still POAS just because I can. I thought 'everyone loves a good clomid story', so maybe I'll have one to add to it.
But really people, what's the deal? I have no real reason for being unexplicably inferile, so why when we have a Dr. helping us to time things and I saw one if not two eggs in there am I sitting here with sore boobs and no baby?
My first reaction was annoyance. Now is coming the grief. Two years. June was two years of actual 'trying'.
And now I have to start thinking about next cycle. And what may lie beyond all of these cycles. IUI's, IVF, Adoption.
You may ask yourself, how did I get here... and so the song goes.

I'm going to go look for happy bfp stories elsewhere. Baby dreams to you all.

6 comments:

I Believe in Miracles said...

Courtney -- I'm so sorry!! I wish I had words to comfort you, but I don't. So I'm sending you a **BIG ELECTRONIC HUG**

I'll be praying for you. All we have is hope, right? And the knowledge that God is good no matter what.

alison said...

Hey thanks for stopping by my blog! I wish you had better news this month. :( Keep praying, and keep your chin up, this too shall pass. Big hugs!

Hope2morrow said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog, dear!

Our baby dreams will come one day- somehow. One way or another. It will happen. We have to remember that.

I understand your disappointment, and I am sorry! I hope next month brings better news.

Earl Gearl said...

I'm so sorry about the BFN Courtney. I understand all to well. I hope your next cycle goes better.

Thanks for the comments on my blog. I really appreciate new readers and I love your blog as well. It's been added to my blogroll!

Jen said...

((hugs))
I'm so sorry.

Courtney said...

i'm so sorry courtney. big hugs.