Monday, July 21, 2008

I Feel Like I Came Out of the Closet

So last Wednesday I was at a small group from my church. It was all women I knew very well, minus one new lady. Actually it was co-ed, but when we shared prayer requests we split up men and women.
So here I was. Do I share? I've had PLEANTY of opportunities to share, but the timing just never was right. Well, as people we sharing, I already started crying. So I either had to tell the truth or make up some story about why I was crying whily Kathy was asking for prayer for her kid to get home safe from Magic Mountain.
So I shared.
And I cried.
The thing with that group is, while there are some single gals, most of them are old enough to be my parents, or just slightly younger. But I know for a fact that three of them have had miscarrages, and I just realized it was time (that and the clomid just made me do it! Thanks a lot for the tears.).
Everyone was real supportive... and then it came...
The one women I don't know very well says: "You know, I don't know if this helps, but my sister when through infertility for 10 years. As soon as she stopped crying about it and gave up trying, she got pregnant".
Um, yeah. She's a sister in Christ, and she meant well.
Really. My endometriosis will go away if I stop trying to get pregnant? I'm sure those ten years were really easy for her sister (this women has two small children).
Anyways, besides that snafoo everyone was really nice and kind.
And then yesterday at church people were nice. Too nice. But hey, I'll ride this through as long as I can. And I really do want them to be praying for my husband and I. It's been long enough keeping this issue in the closet. Let's be 'real'. What's the point in hiding this? (Except for the knuckle headed comments like that one)

Side note:
I found out that one of my friends (not a good friend, but the type of friend where you have dinner together a few times a year) cheated on her husband. With an 18 year old.
She has 3 kids, and her husband's mother just passed away (but I think things were going on before her mother in law passed away).
They're both christians and it just goes to show that no one is free from sin. I'm not, she's not... It's just awful. Both my husband and I keep thinking about how something like that happens. I think maintence on a marriage is so important. When we're careless with things, they break.
They came to our church yesterday, and I was so proud of them. The whole family came. I think most of the people there knew what happened, but I was so impressed with our church for how they surrounded this family. I don't know what will happen with their marriage, but I'm glad they're trying to work through it.

This was a long post. Sorry, I've just been so busy! Hope to hear from you guys soon!


Earl Gearl said...

You are a brave woman for doing that. Good job!

Hope2morrow said...

I'm proud of you for talking about your infertility. Way to go. Do you feel better getting it off your chest now?

kirke said...

I found that once I told one person, then I told another...and another...until almost everyone I care about now knows. What a relief.

I Believe in Miracles said...

Good job. That was awesome. I'm going to write a post about this... the whole should I share or not thing... it was something that was pressing on my heart after this trip. Still discerning.

I'm really glad things went well. Although that lady is kind of amusing. I think that's the same type of thing I would have said had I not been through infertility stuff. weird how on the other end of the spectrum, they aren't words of comfort at all.

Baby dust for this cycle!!

sue said...