Sunday, June 15, 2008

Infertility or Single

This weekend my husband and I got away. Since we were married on new years eve and both of our birthdays are in the winter, we realized last year that unless we took a half anniversary in the summer we wouldn't ever get to do fun stuff for us when it's warm. So we stayed at the hunting.ton beach hay.att this weekend and it was awesome. At first I felt like it was a little bit too Orange County, but I relaxed and it was great fun. Not terribly expensive either considering how nice the hotel is.
As we were walking to breakfast we were talking about our friend J. He is a great guy, got a lot of things going for him, but he hasn't found that right person. We then started talking about all of our single friends and talking about how glad we were that we weren't where they are. Before I met my husband I can remember really struggling with being single. I was 25 when met met and I just felt like I would never move on to the next stage in my life. Really. Being single at a family gathering was almost like being infertile. When are you going to get married? Why haven't you found a guy yet?
Then today at a family gathering for Father's Day, my grandfather gets on my husband to get some great grandchildren going. What's so hard about that, is that I can see my grandfather excited because he thinks my husband is going to be a great father. And he remembers that my dad was born 9 months and 10 days after his own wedding. So there is no history of infertility problems in his mind.
So I am reminded that I would rather be happily married to a great man without children than single and not aware of all the bajillions of inferility terms that I now know in my head. And the heaviness I feel in my nether-regions thanks to the clomid.
Horray for marriage.

6 comments:

Jill said...

saw you on lost and found. Welcome to blogging! I could have written this post... the singleton would be my brother-also J. and also 25.

Io said...

Welcome to the IF blogosphere - not good that you have IF, but glad you've found our community!

Courtney said...

hey courtney! I enjoyed your blog, and I will be back...us courtneys have to stick together! And I completely agree about your infertility or single post...It is important to count your blessings! I even find myself being way more sensitive to single people because as you mentioned in your post, we have to go through similar heartache and the "when is it going to be my turn??" questions...

tragicoptimist said...

I just read a blog post by a friend of mine who is single and really having a hard time. She talked about how hard it was to see couples together, or watch parents with their kids. It was very similar to what I felt when we were going through IF treatments, except that I had my husband as a source of strength. I completely agree with you, I am so thankful that I found my husband and that we're in this together.

I Believe in Miracles said...

found you on L&F. welcome to blogging!

great post about singleness. i never thought of it that way. i think the big difference is that it is a lot easier to see if someone is single, but a lot harder for anyone to tell if you're in the IF world...

but totally agree that it makes it easier to relate to struggling in general.

Carrie27 said...

Isn't it funny how the whole world assumes that once you are married you should have a baby right away and that simple sex will make that happen?

My family has never understood my unexplained IF (basically I don't ovulate), especially now that I am pregnant with our 2nd and 3rd child. Blogging has helped me connect to others who have or have had the same feelings. So, welcome to the world of blogging and I hope to continue reading your blog.