Pit and Peak

Peak:
I have so many this week! My first peak is that my baby is about to turn a year old! Next Saturday she'll be 1! I'm planning a lovely Cowgirl themed party (any suggestions about cutesie names for food are welcome - ex: Cowgirl Chips for chips) and almost everyone we invited is coming, which is kind of scary.
Another peak also involves my little one. She learned how to 'tickle' me this week. I put it in quotes because she just mostly says a high pitched shriek that I know (mother's intuition) is her trying to say 'tickle' and then she squeezes her hands in my face like she's making the milk sign. But I'm positive she's trying to 'tickle' me. DH saw the whole thing again last night and he was cracking up that she can do that.
Pit:
At work we're starting AP (Advanced Placement) and IB (International Baccalaureate) testing. Usually this is a great time of year, but it means that I have to move classrooms so they can break down the wall between my classroom and the teacher next door. So before the end of the day I have to pack up everything I think I might need for the next two weeks because my room will be inaccessible (the walls will be stacked up against my shelves and drawers). So it's not the worst thing in the world, but it's a pretty big inconvience.

What was your pit and peak this week?

When to Proceed

In light of our recent loss, I am in a quandry about when to use our frozen embryo's. I don't want to wait too long, but I also am thinking, what if we were able to get pregnant on our own! I feel so encouraged by this recent pregnancy, even if it didn't stick, that I keep thinking maybe it'll just happen. This is how I felt for the first year and a half that we were trying to get PG, but in all that time I had never seen a positive. Then we tried for another year and a half before we were successful.
And then came Macie. She is just the best, most good-natured baby. I had a great weekend with her. We had fun and Easter was great.
And while I'm not complaining, it's just that I have a desire to make Macie into a big sister. So then the question becomes: When?
Do we aim for August? As a teacher, that would be the most ideal time. Or should we try longer? We're not even offically trying now, but of course you all know what that means. It still means hoping and all that jazz.
The other factor is that I have lost about 39 pounds since Jan. 2nd (horray!), but I still have much to loose. I'm beyond the baby weight, but the 3 years of trying did nothing good for my waste-line. It wasn't the IVF, it was all the months of thinking 'maybe I'm pg! I should eat for the good of the baby!'.
So I am stuck. When is the 'right' time to have a baby. If there is something I have learned from infertility is that I have NO control over when I will have a baby. So why am I even asking myself when?
Do any of you have any insight to share? Either your own experiences or friends?

Happy What?

This Friday is Good Friday.
This Friday is Earth Day.

Isn't it interesting (and sad) that I have seen nothing in the media about Good Friday. And the graphic we have for Easter on our weather station is a bunny.
Does anyone remember what it is we're celebrating? The bunny and eggs are a sign of Spring, and God created seasons, so I'm not anti-bunny. God created the Earth, so Earth day is great. But I need to talk about my Savior. Jesus was killed so that you and I could be free. But our society has gone so far away from these truths because it's not an easy topic to discuss. It's really difficult for the self made man (or woman) to accept that they're lacking in anything.
But we are.
So instead of filling the hole in our hearts with the love of Christ, we fill it with taking care of the earth. We fill it with good causes, but not things that cause us to draw closer to God. I want society to remember the gift that is free. And that is what the Easter season is about. Not bunnies, not Earth day, but the free gift of Grace given by God through Jesus.

So not happy Earth day.
Not happy bunny day.

Happy Easter ladies. Glory to God.

SURL-What you're reading

Kelly At kelly's Korner she's sharing what you're reading.

I am a history teacher, and I have to say, I go through periods of time where I get completely wrapped up in the Space Race. I think it started when I saw Apollo 13 as a senior in high school. I think I saw it in the theatre 2 or 3 times. And as a side note, I remember that movie being out at the same time as While You Were Sleeping. I think I saw both of those over and over again in the theatre. Great flick. Back to Space, A few years ago I decided to teach a unit on the Space Race in my World History class (after state testing is done, teachers have more freedom to pick the curriculum they enjoy). I LOVED IT! I think the first Bio I read was Jim Lovell. He is still one of my favorites to read about from the space program. He and his wife Marilyn did a commentary on the 10th anniversary of Apollo 13's release and I just enjoy his stories. I also really admire that their marriae was one of the few NASA marriages to survive. So this was a great read:

I followed that up by reading Gene Kranz (one of the flight directors)and then I found Chris Kraft, one of the major mission control gurus. I actually forgot what his title was. Then for a few years I put down the Space books and got busy. But just a few months ago I found this great used bookstore in my town and I found John Glenn's Bio. He was the first American to orbit the Earth, became a congressman and then went into space a few years ago as the oldest American in space. His love for his wife is endearing, although we may have some different political views.So finally, after all of that here is what I am actually reading. That used bookstore also had Frank Borman's book. He was on Apollo 8 (amoungst others) with Jim Lovell and they orbited the moon. He then became president of Eastern Airlines. I haven't gotten that far ing hte book though. And then...because I am such a nerd and this is beocming the longest post ever in the history of the world to be about the Space Race, I'll tell you that over Spring Break, DH, Macie and I went to the national Air and Space museaum in San Diego. I picked up a copy of Buzz Aldrin's book while there. I am almost finished with it. He has been on quite a journey since coming back from Apollo 11. THe story describes what it was like to cope with having acheived the greatest thing 'man' has ever done, and then what happens from there. It's an interesting story of depression and alcoholism. Not exactly the guy I remember from 'punky brewster', but still interesting none-the-less. I should finish this by the weekend.

and then, I want to end with probably the smartest guy I've been reading. Our Bible study is on Romans and DH and I are currently Co-leading. So we're using Chuck Swindol's commentary. Man, that guys is smart. He's got a lot of information in this book. It's NOT a fast read because there is just so much to think about. If you want in-depth, go with Chuck. Alright, this was a long, nerdy post. WHat have you all been reading? Link up! And if you know of any other biographies I should be reading, let me know!

Have You Ever...?

Have you ever put your underwear on inside out, noticed it 5 minutes later, and didn't do anything about it? Yup, that was me yesterday. It was just that kind of morning. Maybe that's me oversharing (you're welcome) with all of you. But I know you guys have your quirks too. What are you hiding?

It's 'almost' funny

How are you all? Including our recent 'loss', it's been an interesting time for us. So many things are breaking! Household things, items in my classroom...I'm starting to feel superstitious, just a little. Since March 1st, here is what has broken or not worked properly: The leak in the wall - I think I told you about this. This has meant that we had to have 8 industrial dryers in our house for 6 days, part of the floor ripped up, and repainting of walls. Today the new flooring is being installed. Of course there is no perfect match so we get new flooring (yea!) but it's a huge hassle (boo). The Dryer - our year and half old brand new dryer! The belt snapped. That was a 200 dollar repair. Yikes! The windshield on our car - we were hit by a small rock in January and it made a really small crack. Yesterday dh washed the car and the crack spread across the entire windshield. Almost not driveable...but I drove it to work today anyway! We have an appointment to fix it at 3:00. The Drill - just a regular drill. It won't hold a charge. We were finally baby proofing a few cabinents...and it stopped working. The Lawnmower - Jose tried what he could to fix it, new sparkplugs, oil, gas...it seems it just met its match. My LCD projector in my classroom - I got to school today and my lesson was a biography (via LCD projector, I don't have a dvd player hooked up to my tv). My backup lesson was to finish notes (via powerpoint). My Dean was able to get me a projector to use today, but tomorrow I'll probably be giving notes on the whiteboard! Do you see why I'm feeling superstitious? The good part is that these are only things, and so far, the people in our lives are safe and healthy, and that is what matters. But the timing of all these things breaking is very cicumspect. Ironically, we paid off our car in Feburary. So we have been using that money to pay for all these 'things' repair. It's just getting comicial. When dh showed me the windshield yesterday, I said 'of course it broke!". Here's to hoping the major repairs are over for another 5 years!

Less than 2

That was my HCG number yesterday. So it's a pretty interesting situation. I got pg, and then lost it immediatly. We were in such shock, that I don't know if the pregnancy even had time to sink in. But it's still kind of exciting to think that we got pregnant on our own. That's where I'm leaving this situation. I've read different statstics. 1 out of 6 or even 1 out of 4 pregnancies end in miscarrage. I suppose those odds catch up with most of us at some point. I'm just hoping the next one sticks. And on a seperate note, my SIL is in the hospital right this moment being induced. We're excited to have a cousin for Macie, this will be her first/only cousin so far. It's ironic timing to have lost a pregnancy as another is coming to an end, but again, all I can say is Glory to God. His will be done. I hope Thursday treats you well. I know a lot of you are in different stages of pregnancy/adoption/ttc, and I wish you good luck wherever you're at.

Very Unexpected

You guys, I don't even know how to say all that I have to say. It's great and then it's not. On Sunday I took a home pregnancy test. It was postive. IT WAS POSITIVE! Monday I called the OB/GYN. I got to experience a random postive. I got to be surprised that bding = baby! But then Monday afternoon I stopped 'feeling' pregnant. I started bleeding. ANd that's where I'm at now. I'll call the OB tomorrow tell her what happened. I can't imagine that I'm still pregnant. While my boobs are still sore, I am having what I would consider a *normal* cycle. If I hadn't have tested, I wouldn't even think my period was weird, just one day late. Obviously I have more to post about this and thousands of emotions, everything from elation to heavy greif. I've never miscarried before. A 3 year journey didn't provide any BFP's before, just blank tests. I cannot imagine the pain you all feel to be far along in a pregnancy only to lose the baby, so for that, I can now empathize. I know that if I have to miscarry this is the best scenario. And I know that God is still Glorified in this situation. I just recently took the name "drama" off this blog title. Baby Mama. Maybe I should add the drama back in. I'll post more when I know more.

Blog Changes

You'll notice some changes here. It's been almost 4 years of blogging and I hadn't changed much of the design. The picture is one I took to put on Macie's 1st birthday invitations. Her big day is still over a month away, but in mom-time that will be here soon! So the skirt was made by my mom (Nana) who in her retirement is really becoming quite the seamstress. It's been fun to have her create things for her granddaughter, and soon her first grandson will be here (no, I'm not pg, but my SIL is!). Little Logan is due April 8th, so his arrival feels emminent! I keep remembering this time with Macie, right before she came and I'm just so excited for my SIL to get to experience the glee (and exhaustion) that comes with a newborn.

Peak and Pit

Pit:

Was it me, or did every day this week feel like Friday? It started Monday night. It felt like Thursday night. But it was only MONDAY! All the way to last night, I was driving home from dinner with my small group. It was 7 O'clock and still 85 degrees. It just felt like summer. So of course, getting home and realizing I still had to get up and go to work...just wasn't fun. But how could I even be tempted to be upset when I see this cutie?

Peak:

This coming week is Spring Break! I think the teachers enjoy this more than the students. And if you don't believe me, ask a teacher in your life! I'm so excited to get to spend many hours a day with DH and all day with Miss Macie! She's excited too if you can't tell:

What was the pit and peak of your week?