Monday, March 2, 2009

Both Hopeful and Realistic

This was the answer I was going to give at Target today.
You see, I purchased both pregn.ancy tests and tampons.
I was waiting for the checker to notice and say, "are you pregnant or on your period?" (which she didn't say, lest you be confounded), and in my mind I was going to say back, "I am both hopeful and realistic".
I took a test (today is CD 26, I didn't check ovulation this month). It was a stark white as ever. Yet, until AF shows up, I'm going to find a way to be hopeful. I'm staring at a negative pregnancy test and I'm still hopeful.
Gosh, this IF stuff just blows.

And, to add insult to injury, I think this month we are cancelling the IUI we were going to do. It's going to be 800 out of pocket and our dental insurance is maxed out and tomorrow my DH is getting a 930 dollar crown put on. This means that until I know if I get my job back I think we may have to put off our IVF and IUI plan.

Deep Sigh.

I know God has a plan. I think it's going to be exciting. But right now, I'm wishing for the mundane. I'm hoping for a baby and a job. But if this is what God has to do for me to draw near to Him, than Blessed Be the Name of the Lord.


CTagsGirl said...

Praying for you, Courtney. You continue to be in my thoughts as you travel this journey.

I nominated you for an award over on my blog. No pressure to participate. I just wanted you to know that you're cared-for and appreciated. *hugs*

Alex and Jill said...

I think we infertiles keep those HPT people in business. Your attitude is an encouragement. Praying for you, girl!


who said life is fair said...

I must commend you on your attitude too. It is an encouragement and you're being level headed about money, which is difficult during infertility b/c we want it NOW.

I'm sending good vibes your way for baby and job!

Earl Gearl said...

I'm still hoping for you, Courtney. I know how frustrating it all is and you have a good attitude (much better than mine ever was) about things. Keep that attitude and trust in God. Hoping for you!

Scrambled Egg said...

Crossing my fingers for you!