Monday, February 23, 2009

It's a good thing you don't have kids..

This is what I was told today. I didn't correct him.
Bless his heart, it was one of our custodians at school (again, I'm a high school teacher, and if you haven't been around schools in a few years than you might not know how much information is centered around janitors and how much you need them to be on your side! Seriously, they control the school, not the principal).
So he comes in to take out the trash in my classroom and we talk about the current economic crises. Our district will have layoffs (as will every district in all of CA) and I have been teaching for 8 years, but this is my first year in this district, so I may as well have been given a high draft number (high is bad, right? For the draft I mean). Any who, I'm likely going to be hit.
So the janitor is sharing about the plight of the custodians and how they're going to be hit too. I tell him this is my first year and he says, well, "do you have kids"? I say "not yet". He says, "that's a good thing".
While yes, there is a blessing in here somewhere of, I may lose my job and the financial burden of children is not weighing on my heart, there is a myriad of other burdens. The most significant being that if my husband and I both do not have jobs in the fall (a possibility) that we will not be going through IVF in June.
We will have to use that money we've worked hard on saving to pay our mortgage and other big bills.
So yes, it's good that I don't have kids, but geez, at least that burden I can share. I can't tell a relative stranger (who will gossip to everyone) that I actually do have a financial burden when it comes to children, please don't remind me of that.

Once again, things are not in my hands, and when this baby comes, I know it will only have come from God. There is just no other way I'm getting pregnant here. God alone*.

*disclaimer, I believe God works through IUI, IVF, Wise Counsel, and plain ol' 'doing it like rabbits'.

6 comments:

Leslie Laine said...

I know what you mean about not being able to share your burden. It's such a tightrope, and I'm learning that some people really don't want to be burdened with it anyway.

I am hoping that you are bypassed as the school considers its layoffs. I'm also hoping that this economic crisis passes very soon.

Thinking of you and hoping for the very best.

Alex and Jill said...

I'm praying you and hubby are able to keep your jobs and that God will grant the desires of your heart in having a child.

((HUGS))

CTagsGirl said...

I was just reading your previous post and marveling at how up-beat you always stay, Court. Worrying gives us nothing...thanks for the reminder! Worry only brings us more of the same, right? :)

I come from a family of teachers and also live in a state that's got major budget issues which means laying-off staff. Your job situation will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Also sending all the sticky baby vibes I have and praying that this will be YOUR time! *hugs*

Bec said...

Just had to comment on your disclaimer - I believe the exact same thing, and its my response whenever says something about it not being in 'Gods plans'

Ace said...

Hang in there! Both of my sisters-in-law were told they'd never have kids...

1 has 2 little girls, both happened naturally.

The other has a little boy b/c of much help from her drs.

Remember that God's timing is always perfect.

Miss Mac said...

Yep, definitely need the custodians on your side. And- God has a plan & purpose for our lives. Hoping for the best for the job situation! Take Care!