So many of you know I have been completely spoiled when it came to childcare for my little one while I was at work. 2 days a week my mom would come over and watch Macie, and three days a week, my personal friend with tons of Nanny experience would come over and watch her. So yes, this means I didn't have to transport Macie anywhere and she was getting amazing care from wonderful people in my own home. We paid my friend but my mom didn't want money.
Well, with our impending arrivial, my friend/nanny needed to find a full time job elsewhere and she did. She just found it 6 weeks earlier that we would've hoped for. In no way do we begrudge her, because really, we only paid her 65 dollars a day (a ten dollar raise from last year because we were so happy with how she was caring for Macie), and even though that's a lot for us, that's certainly not enough to live on. Her new job has benefits, a 401k, and is full time. Yeah, she pretty much would be crazy not to take it. Especially since the plan is for me to stop working from March until August.
So that has put us in a bind. My mom agreed to pick up a 3rd day, so we were looking for someone to watch Macie 2 days a week, preferrably in our home. We asked DH's mom. SHe lives 25 minutes away, and has watched Macie a few times. It has always gone well, but truthfully, I don't trust her completely. She has Diabetes, is morbidly overweight, and has fallen a few times in the past years. What helps is that her daughter (my SIL) is 26 and has always come over also to help. My SIL is diagnosed as 'mildly retarded' and is also extremely overweight, but surprisingly, has excellent common sense (and loves playing with little kids). She's not stupid by anymeans, but she doesn't drive and isn't going to be able to pass basic classes in college. So of course you can see that this pair is not idea for watching a high-spririted 20 month old. HOWEVER, because of our bind, and because they were willing, we asked them to watch Macie. And last week, they did. It's only for a total of 5 hours, and they are in our baby-proofed home.
So we were hopeful this would work until I go on Maternity leave, and then next year, we'll come up with a different solution for the off days my mom doesn't work.
Enter last night.
DH calls his mom to confirm that she's on for tomorrow (today) and Thursday to watch Macie. She says yes, except that she has also agreed to watch another baby for a friend of hers. But she wasn't going to tell us. She was simply going to her her son (my BIL) drive the baby over when the mother dropped her off at 8:30 and then when I get home at 11:30, they'll go back to their house.
I was shocked. For lots of reasons. And I think I over-reacted, but I'm really curious to know what you all would have thought in this situation.
I'm mostly shocked that this little baby boy's momma is okay with her son being dropped off at one house at 8:30, then driven over to my house, then driven back to his house, all within a 3 hour time period. I'm shocked that my Mother in Law thought that we shouldn't be consulted regarding something that has to do with the care of our daughter or another baby in our house. There are all kinds of 'what if's' that pop up in my mind. What if that baby is sick? What if one of them gets hurt? What if my MIL and SIL are underestimating their abilities to watch 2 children at the same time? Etc.
So last night my mom agreed to watch Macie today (and she is) but tomorrow, DH and I are kind of thinking that we overreacted. If this other baby's mom is okay with him being driven around and not having stability...then do we have a right to say it? Am I just mad that decisions about my daughter's care weren't being made by me? (YES!).
So the plan is to try it tomorrow. It's 5 hours and in theory only 2 1/2 hours together.
I'm just HATING THIS.
And yes, it fuels the fire of the stay at home debate, and DH and I are still considering every angle of what it would take for me to stay home. We're both committed to doing what's best for our family and we both agree that's for me to be home, but we've got debt and as teachers we have to be able to pay for summer (we only get paid 10 months a year, and right now a big part of my paycheck is saved for that). So yes, I want to stay home. But let me ask, for the next 5 weeks...if you were in my situation,
What Would You Do?