Saturday, July 11, 2009

Because I have an opinion

Okay, I have a tough post to write, because it affects some of you out there whom I adore reading about. And this is really the heart of my problem. You're not writing.

Now, the thing is, I get it. And I'm not looking for a ton of comments about how none of this is directed at me, and how I'll feel like you guys do when I get pregnant. I probably will. But here is the problem.
A number of blogs I follow (formally and informally) have gotten pregnant in the last year. Horray! I really am super happy for each of you. And I think you guys know that while yes, there is a pang that you feel when you read a 'friend' is pregnant, ultimately there is happiness in my heart because I know that my journey won't be identical to anyone else's journey.

But why, when you get pregnant, do you take yourselves away? I'm not addressing anyone that is too busy to blog, I'm talking to those who feel this isn't the right place to blog about being pregnant.
I'm bothered because it's your blog! It's your place to tell me and cyberworld what you're going through. I read that people don't want to offend others by blogging about pregnancy symptoms? If I wasn't up for reading about it, I wouldn't.

But before you guys think I'm a major hater, let me be vulnerable.

The thing is, I feel worse each time I read one of these blogs where people are going 'private' or where they're going to take a break from blogging because they don't know where they belong, in the IF community or the knocked up community.
I feel left behind.
I feel like unintentionally people are deserting this entire knocked up/not knocked up community.
I can only imagine that being pregnant presents a world of confusion. Really and sincerely. I know I will probably feel the same way. But this is my blog, and I'm going to blog about how I feel. And if I get too busy to blog, so be it. But please, don't leave cyberworld just because you're afraid of hurting my (or people in my situations') feelings. If you're adjusting to life with a baby, or work has blocked your blogspot, that's one thing.
But I just want to shout it from my couch, it hurts worse when people leave than finding out someone is pregnant or reading about symptoms. I love symptoms! Bring on the belly stories!

Well, that was a deep post.
I'm back from Vegas (obviously) and SOOOOOO happy for new pregnancy announcements and also SOOOO ready to get this FET cycle underway! Horray! One month from tomorrow is our scheduled transfer.

Take care out there and I hope that while yes, I stirred the pot, that no one feels personally attacked. Let's just all be on babywatch! Born, Unborn, and Yet to come!


Where's Baby? said...

Thank you for the sweet comment today!!! :)

Alex and Jill said...

Good post. It's a hard transition...going from writing about the pain of IF to the joy of pregnancy. I remember telling Alex that I didn't know what to say after getting pregnant. I didn't think it would be that way, but it was. I didn't post one belly shot during my entire 1st trimester. I felt like I was rubbing it in. I think some blog for the support and then once they have achieved pregnancy, they forget that others still need to be supported. Sad but true. Your post was from the heart...I like that. Still praying you get knocked up in '09. :)


Jackie said...

I am just an old grandma now and my long ago problem was sure not getting pregnant but staying that way long enough to get a live one ( I got 3[by staying in bed for nine months and having my cervix sutured shut] and lost 6) We didn't have blogs in those days and I did have some good friends and family to help get me through the really tough times, but it would have been so helpful to be able to vent and just let it all out to a sympathetic audience when you figured that you'd worn out your welcome on a friend's shoulder. So I say rejoice with those who rejoice and grieve with those who grieve! Your network is so important to those who need it so don't censor your blogs friends share your joy and your sorrow. Perhaps your joy will encourage the grieving one to keep on trying.
Hang in there, Baby Mama, and keep on hoping and praying for your own set of pregnancy symptoms with a sweet little reward at the end :-)

Earl Gearl said...

I totally agree with you. I hope you stay blogging when your time comes because I love reading about all of the journey, not just one aspect of it.

Jen said...

Well, you know, I agree with you.

But just being on the other side, I can tell you this: not everyone is as sweet as you. :) Some people are MEAN and rotten and say awful things when a formal infertile gets too forthcoming with pregnancy and baby info. I was called a pathetic trainwreck loser for being too excited!

That being said, it IS my blog and I will keep writing. And I hope that you will be the same when your time comes.

I Believe in Miracles said...

Thank you for this. I've definitely struggled with what to write and what to say as I've gone along but it hasn't been intentional to leave people behind. I appreciate your honesty. Still praying for you for 09.