Here we go! I started Estrace on Sunday. Right now it's two in the AM and two in the PM. My boobs are more sore than normal during this part of my cycle, did anyone else feel estrace there?
I have my first Uterine check up on Monday at 8:00 AM which is great because we're going camping for a few days so this FET shouldn't affect our short vacation plans. We just got back from visiting my grandparents and while it was fun to hang out with family, it sure is tough to see the people you used to view as so strong suddenly become so helpless. Grandpa isn't doing too well, but he's been not doing well for about 7 years, so who knows, maybe he'll out live all of us.
I'm really excited for this next cycle. I just feel like it's the right thing to do. I'm hoping that our embryo's make it. I'm really thinking about how many to transfer. My doctor doesn't have hard/fast rules, but he does play things safe. I know our decision will be based on how many come out of freeze and look good, but it's a big decision that I'm playing with here. 2? 3? No more than three, but ... like I said, it just depends on how many thaw.
As of right now we're going to thaw the straw that has two embryo's, 1 7cell and 1 8 cell. The other straw has 3 embryo's - 2 7 cells and 1 5 cell. It takes about an hour to thaw, so should we need to defrost the second straw, we'll probably have some big choices.

Let's get knocked up in '09!

Birth Control Out - lots of stuff in...

So yesterday was the last day on the nu.va ring, and I'm expected to get my period around the 26th. I think it'll come sooner, but whatevs.
I found my directions for my medication and I am to take the estrage vaginally twice a day, two capsels at a time. yeah, I'm thinking no tampons for this cycle. Doesn't that sound gross? Like I said, lots of stuff will be going on in there for the next few weeks.

BUT! I'm ready. DH and I are headed to Northern California for some family vacation time. I'm ready! Lots of work stories to be told, but truthfully, unless your a teacher it's not too interesting, so I'll spare you. I have three weeks off and I intend to use them!

Take care ladies, let's all get knocked up in '09!

Protocol

For FET #1 we have a slightly different protocol and I'm curious about your experiences (this is for anyone who has used these drugs). I have PIO shots like last time in tandem with capsuls, and I believe I only use these after transfer. I have estrodol thought this time. It's new to me. Now here is a stupid question that I'll only admit to the blogosphere group - is this vaginal or oral? It's in the same little baggy as the progesterone suppositories but the label on the estrodol just says 'take as directed'. The progesterone specifically says "vag. suppositories". So, those of you who have used estrodol, um.. where do I shove it? And along with that, what is the purpose of it? Is that the one that is supposed to 'enrich my lining'?
And yes, I know my Doctor will explain it to me (well, his nurses will anyway) but I'm just wondering what to expect. I am through with BCP on Sunday! Here it comes!

Le Beatles and Le Job

So aside from my rant on the previous post, I needed to share about our short weekend trip to Las Vegas.

Um:

Amazing.

Now, I went with no idea what to expect. But this show was AMAZING! I hadn't seen a Cirque du Soleil show before of any kind, and now I think I would be disappointed with anything less.

Haven't you ever thought, I wish I could watch 4 guys in referee uniforms and fuzzy 'barbarella' ankle boots doing death defying, roller skate moves all set the Beatles song Help? Because I have, and I'll tell ya, I was not disappointed. We went to Las Vegas for a friends' birthday, and decided to do the last minute tickets thing on the strip. Yeah, even at a discount these tickets were expensive ($90 bucks a pop) but on an entertainment level, it was COMPLETELY worth it. And I must say, I'm pretty picky. While I'm easy to please, I have high expectations for shows (fomer film major here speaking...I know that gives me no street cred, but whatevs) and this was easily one of the best things. Ever. On the Face of the Planet.

So yes, I'm excited. But I know Vegas gets discussed often on these blogs as a fun destination, and I'm adding my $.02. Go See It.

Other than that, I am through with birth control on Sunday and then I am supposed to get AF by Thursday of next week to get this FET cycle moving!

AND, I almost forgot (sorry this post is getting long). I found out today that at work I will be full time next year! This is a huge blessing. I am a teacher in CA and wherever you are, just be glad you're not a teacher in Ca. right now, because apparently everyone in congress (from Schwarzenneger to all democrates to all republicans, to independent green freaks) is a knuckle-head chuckle-head and can't pull it out long enough to give us a budget. So a number of teachers have lost jobs (including a number of friends of mine). I have been teaching 8 years, but decided to switch districts last year so I lost all of my seniority. What's in my favor though is that I teach History and you have to have a specific credential to teach high school. So I was partially laid off earlier this year (instead of teaching 5 periods a day, I would only teach 3).

So today I found out that I will be full time next year, but they are splitting me between two different schools. So the details aren't great, but the cash flow will stay the same (which is perfect because of this whole FET-trying-to-get-knocked-up-in-'09-but-going-crazy-because-so-far-it-hasn't-worked-and-IF-treatments-cost-lots-o'-money!). My thought is, that this would actually be a really bad time to get pregnant (new job locations, hard to find a long term sub), so maybe it will actually happen!

Oh friends, here's to good news, Great God, good beatles, and hoping!

Because I have an opinion

Okay, I have a tough post to write, because it affects some of you out there whom I adore reading about. And this is really the heart of my problem. You're not writing.

Now, the thing is, I get it. And I'm not looking for a ton of comments about how none of this is directed at me, and how I'll feel like you guys do when I get pregnant. I probably will. But here is the problem.
A number of blogs I follow (formally and informally) have gotten pregnant in the last year. Horray! I really am super happy for each of you. And I think you guys know that while yes, there is a pang that you feel when you read a 'friend' is pregnant, ultimately there is happiness in my heart because I know that my journey won't be identical to anyone else's journey.

But why, when you get pregnant, do you take yourselves away? I'm not addressing anyone that is too busy to blog, I'm talking to those who feel this isn't the right place to blog about being pregnant.
I'm bothered because it's your blog! It's your place to tell me and cyberworld what you're going through. I read that people don't want to offend others by blogging about pregnancy symptoms? If I wasn't up for reading about it, I wouldn't.

But before you guys think I'm a major hater, let me be vulnerable.

The thing is, I feel worse each time I read one of these blogs where people are going 'private' or where they're going to take a break from blogging because they don't know where they belong, in the IF community or the knocked up community.
I feel left behind.
I feel like unintentionally people are deserting this entire knocked up/not knocked up community.
I can only imagine that being pregnant presents a world of confusion. Really and sincerely. I know I will probably feel the same way. But this is my blog, and I'm going to blog about how I feel. And if I get too busy to blog, so be it. But please, don't leave cyberworld just because you're afraid of hurting my (or people in my situations') feelings. If you're adjusting to life with a baby, or work has blocked your blogspot, that's one thing.
But I just want to shout it from my couch, it hurts worse when people leave than finding out someone is pregnant or reading about symptoms. I love symptoms! Bring on the belly stories!

Well, that was a deep post.
I'm back from Vegas (obviously) and SOOOOOO happy for new pregnancy announcements and also SOOOO ready to get this FET cycle underway! Horray! One month from tomorrow is our scheduled transfer.

Take care out there and I hope that while yes, I stirred the pot, that no one feels personally attacked. Let's just all be on babywatch! Born, Unborn, and Yet to come!

Longing

It's tough.
I'm starting to long for children.
I see them, and I'm not unhappy for those who have them, but I long for my own.

And. this birth control seems long.

This cycle already feels long.

August 12th feels like a long time away.

I'm longing to get out of this longing phase.

Las Vegas this weekend should help my longing. I suppose on a surfacy level, I'm also longing for a pool.

It's been a long day people.