Yesterday we took Penny for her 2 week appointment. I have been exclusively breastfeeding, and unlike last time, I thought things were going well. One week after she was born she weighed 6lb 3 oz. At yesterday's doctor appointment she should've been back to her birthweight (6lb 10oz). So at her appointment when she weighed 6lb 1oz, we all freaked out.
Do you guys see that? She was way below where she should've been. This put Penny in the 3% for weight. This is not good.
When the nurse weighed her, DH and I instantly knew this was going to be a problem and a big deal. After the nurse left but before the doctor came in I nursed Penny (it always takes a while for the pediatrician, but she's really good and worth the wait). When she came in she was her usual fast talking self, and when she looked at the chart electronically and saw her weight, she became very serious. She thought it was good that I was feeding her, we could weigh her when I was done and see what she took from me.
The Doctor gave Penny the full check up and besides her weight, everything was good.
So we weighed her after I fed her. How much did she gain? Half and ounce. Half.An.Ounce.
So as we are getting ready to go, the nurse who weighed her stepped out and told the doctor. The doctor was so concerned that she instructed the nurse to get a bottle and have us feed Penny right then and there. The Doctor came back in with a whole new set of instructions. She was very concerned that we don't have a lot of wiggle room to figure out Penny's weight situation. She gave me detailed instructions about feeding Penny for 5 minutes on each side, and then pumping (to increase my supply) while DH or someone gives her a bottle of however much she'll take.
I felt awful. Now, I've been through this before, with Macie. But I just thought that since Penny's diapers were looking normal (lots of pees and poops. Macie had gotten to the point where she had crystals in her diapers and a brick dust looking type of output), that she was doing fine. I had just gotten used to the idea that Penny was going to be dependent on me, solely, for her food. I liked leaving the house and not taking anything other than the hooter hider. I was really sad, and almost lost it a few times in the dr. office, but I was able to hold it together until we got to the car.
And here's the thing with pumping to increase my supply. I spent 3 months doing that with Macie, and it just.didn't.work. I hated it. I spent hours hooked up like a cow while other people cuddled my sweet baby. I don't want to do that again.
Just to see, I skipped a feeding yesterday while Penny had a bottle and I pumped. Combined? I got less than one full ounce.
So, where does that leave us?
I am going to continue breastfeeding. I am going to give Penny all the milk I have. 5 minutes on each side. Then, I am going to give her a bottle. however much she'll take. And that will be all. In addition to how I feel about pumping, DH is going back to work on monday, and I don't see how I can take care of a toddler and baby while pumping. One time would be fine, but that just made it a 40 minute feeding session each time. So I don't logistically think I could pump every time even if I wanted to.
We are going back on Wednesday for a weight check, and then the following Monday to see the dr. again and evaluate her weight gain.
This is scary. I hate feeling like I'm not enough, BUT, I love knowing that at least now she's going to eat everything she needs. I just want her to be healthy no matter what. And I'm not stopping breastfeeding. I'm simply supplimenting with formula.
Completely un-realated. Happy Easter. We had our Good Friday service last night and I'm blown away by Christ's sacrifice. If you haven't made plans for tomorrow morning, find your local church and stop by. You won't be sorry you did.