So today I was thinking about testing. I was at a Hill.songs worship conference in Anaheim with friends from church all day, but I knew that today was 10dp3dt on our frozen cycle. I knew that last time with our fresh cycle I had a hard time figuring out how we wanted to find out if we were pregnant.
Should we wait for the beta?
Should we test before the beta?
Should we test after the beta blood draw but before the phone call with results?
So this month we decided to just poas early. So that was today. But all I had at home was the awful clear blue ea.sy test that says 'pregnant' or 'not pregnant'. Last time it had been so painful so I knew I needed to go to tar.get to pick up some cheap tests based on lines and having something to analyze.
But then, all day at the conference, I'm thinking, no, don't test. Yes, do test! No, don't test. I had all sorts of opportunities to observe every twinge in my uterus and every ache of my breasts while seated and I decided to test.
But I can't tell anyone there what I'm thinking about because what if it's negative and then there are more people you have to call and tell the bad news to.
So I stopped at Target on the way home, and only got pregnancy tests.
As soon as I got in the car to drive home I started crying.
Like weeping. Massive amounts of tears (I still have a headache from all the crying actually).
I prayed all the way home thinking that only God can breath life into these embryo's. That I have no control over this situation. And that I was scared. I was so scared because my hopes were high. I've never had so many symptoms. But I've never been on estrace and progresterone at the same time either, and I know there are a lot of symptoms that come with those hormones.
So I cried for about 8 minutes from target to my house.
I go inside and ask my husband what he thinks. Should we test? Should we wait?
Typically I have just tested on my own in the bathroom, but today I decided to go the cup method of catchin urine so dh actually was the one who administered the pg test. And really, I just was a wreck. Thinking things like it's been 3 years of pee sticks. I've never seen a positive. If a fresh cycle didn't work, why would a frozen work? So there were a lot of thoughts. High hopes and big fears.
We let the test sit on the counter and I just cried in his lap for the required 2 minutes.
He goes to look.
He is silent.
I can't take it anymore.
I jump up to see what he's seeing.
Turns out, he saw a positive pregnancy test.
That's right. Yours truly is knocked up.
Glory to God, Amen, Praise Jesus, Um, Heck yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'll worry later. Today, I rejoice that for at least today, I'm pregnant.