Saturday, November 8, 2008

Now I'm Scared...

I read a few new blogs this week where women carried singleton's or twins and then misscarried at 23 weeks. I didn't know the power of 24 weeks. And when I read about some of the risks of carring twins vs. singles or triplets vs. twins...
I had a possibilty of 5 eggs people.
Now of course there is the logical side of my brain saying, Courtney, you haven't been pregnant in the previous 2 1/2 years, why would it be now?
Then there's the part of me saying, God's timing isn't my timing... And I keep praying for our family to come in God's timing!
Anyway, I'm scared of being pregnant with multiples. More though, I'm scared of not being pregnant at all. I'm starting the second part of the 2ww with this coming Friday the supposed day that I'm with AF or with child. I figure that will mean I'll be spotting by Tuesday. (that's the negative side talking again).
I keep thinking about Romans where Paul is telling us that we gain nothing by worrying. We can't add a single day to our lives by worrying so why do it? I usually think that for flying, now I'm thinking that for babies.
And as a side note, I think I'm done with clomid. I ovulate regularly, why battle this multiple fear each month? I wonder if I could still do the ultrasound and timed intercourse without clomid (like any RE would turn up their nose at 150 dollars for an ultrasound!).


Brunabug said...

I hope that it does work. I had gone through several years of the dreaded 2WW. I was only able to truly let my obsession for being pregnant go when my husband and I were placed with a Foster to Adopt baby boy in March 2005. I was content and happy, and then somehow I found myself finally pregnant (after trying for 7 years). I was shocked because we were diagnosed with a Male Factor Infertility (no mobility and low sperm count).
I don't know you personally, but I deeply hope that this works for you this cycle. I feel for you.
oh, and my sister and her husband had infertility issues as well, but their's was unknown reasons. She did clomid 2 cycles and then injectables and got pregnant with twins.

Hoping for our own Peanut said...

i had 4 good follicles my first iui cycle and none took. i went through the same wave of emotions..what if there are too many?
ill be thinking of you, and hoping it works! with one..or two..or however many you can handle. :)

Alex and Jill said...

There is always risk in fertility treatments...just remember that God is in control and women deliver healthy multiples every day.

Our message at church today was on worry...sometimes we just have to keep giving it to God, even minutes after we just gave it to Him. *smile*

Hang in there, girl...this 2ww will be over before you know it and I'm praying it ends with a healthy pregnancy!