Bring it...

Shelby Tagged me at the Great Big If, and I must say, you are in for some fun...

1. When I have way too many adult things going on, I love to relax by reading an old baby-sitters club book. It takes about 20 minutes. Mary-Anne was always my favorite.

2. My husband was my first long term boyfriend. I had dated casually before that, but never wanted to waste my time with losers (but I liked the free meals).

3. IRL I have a small group of friends that are like life to me. We have met once a week for dinner for the going on 8 years. They know all about IF and one of them is struggling herself. The other 2 aren't married so that makes things easy, no babies yet, but we're praying!

4. My husband and I have helped to start a church in Corona, CA. It has been amazing! It's called vantage point church and God has really been blessing us. (We're going to two services this Sunday, check out the website if you're interested www.vantagepointchurch.org )

5. I have two dogs. I am a Big Ronald Reagan fan (I teach history and civics). My dogs are named Gipper and Nancy. They're the best dogs ever.

6. Every night I make my husband fall asleep to Gilmore Girls. I have all the seasons and rotate through constantly. There was a small break for the West Wing, but I'm back on Gilmore Girls.

7. Golden Spoon frozen yogurt is the best snack ever. Only 3 weight watcher points. Heath Bar flavor is my favorite.

Now, I would tag people individually, but it looks like all the blogs I read have already been tagged. Plus I don't know how to do the cool link thingy with other blogs. Consideral of yourselves tagged!

A Little Diddy

This blog is about honesty, right?
My last period was wacky. It was my 3rd round of clomid and again I had 4 eggs (at least) when they did the ultrasound so it's natural that my period would be abnormal. Well, I spotted for 3 days and then decided that my flow had started. But then the next day it was lighter (but still the dark red AF color).
That's when I cancelled the next Clomid cycle becuase I felt like I wanted to give my body a rest and have a non-medicated cycle.
But somewhere in my heart, I held out hope.
I hadn't tested because I figured period=no baby. I was right.
But what did I do? I bought more tests at tar*get so I could test.
After my period. Who does that! After 25 + cycles. Period equals no baby. But still, hope not for nothing, right?
Here's the perspective part:
But when I was putting my bags in my cart, I saw that things could be worse. The woman behind me was buying depends-like underwear. It was for her.

Instead of trying to get pregnant, we could all be suffering with uncontrollable bladder issues.
Enjoy your weekend lovely ladies!

I'm an Expert

Edited...
Oh my word. I'm totally going to have to be in counseling when this is all over.
Enjoy the down hill of your week!

Fun with my Hun

Last night my DH and I got it on... for fun! Without clomid this month, it didn't occur to me until afterward that we can really have 'fun' without it being for procreational purposes.

It was so freeing... like when we were newly married ... and blissfully ignorant.

I'm loving life without clomid. Who's with me?

When Does Life Begin?

Politics, Politics, Politics...

I heard a report a few years ago on NPR that talked about how politics is boring. And even me as a Civics/Government teacher, I agree. So our nation invents things to try to make politics more interesting. I watch a small portion of both the DNC and the GOP conventions and both of them are rediculous. It's the sporting event/popularity contest. I really hate how everyone cheers and boos on cue. It's like going to a Calva*ry Chapel service! (Oh, did that offend anyone? Let me know!)

BUT, Out here Pastor Rick W*arren of Saddle*back church (the guy who wrote Purpose dri*ven life) hosted an event that both Obama and McCain came to. He asked dialogued with both of them for one hour separately, but asked them the same questions. I don't know if any of you saw it, but it was broadcast on CNN.

It was really cool. I loved that it wasn't a debate, and we really got to see some honest answers (I think they were honest) from our candidates.

But then came this question: When do you believe life begins?

Obama answered: that he thought that questions was above his paygrade. Meaning that he didn't feel like he was qualified to answer.

McCain answered: Conception.

Here's the thing, I'm very pro-life (even before struggling with IF). Like 100,000%. If you don't want your baby than give it up for adoption. Let's speed that process up a bit!

BUT

Now that I've got some thoughts on my mind like IVF, then do I really believe that life starts at conception? If I've learned something through this process, it's that conception alone does not equal baby. There has to be a womb present. There has to be the perfect storm of conditions to get pregnant and end up with a baby. In the 2 + years we've been trying, the odds are that at some point I've had sperm and egg meet in my body and just not stick around. So did life begin? Should I mourn those fertilized eggs? I don't think so, so then I really have to ask myself,

When does life begin?

My Husband and I have had some really interesting discussions on this. If we went through IVF, than do we feel like if they take 20 eggs and 15 make it to blast, then am I morally obligated use every egg that was fertilized because it will be abortion if I chose to let those eggs go if I finish having kids but have eggs left over?

I'm not really pro-Obama, but now that I've had all of these IF experiences, I am questioning the idea I've always had, that life Begins at Conception. I'm not really pro-mccain either, b.t.w. I'm lost in this whole election. (that's just a side note though)

I'm feeling a little confused...

What do you guys think? When does life begin? Conception? Implantation? When the egg starts releasing progesterone (is that what it releases?)? When the heart beats?

maybe these are above my pay grade too.

I'm Game

I found this from Alison, it seems kind of funny. Here's to things to do while waiting for my husband to get home from football practice...

The Name Game

1.Your rock star name (first pet, current car): Vanilla Outlook

2.Your gangsta name (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite type of shoe): Minty Flip Flop

3.Your Native American name (favorite color, favorite animal): Green Cocker Spaniel

4.Your soap opera name (middle name, city where you were born): Courtney San Dimas (Yes, Courtney is actually my middle name...Surprise!)

5.Your Star Wars name (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 of your first name): MarJi

6.Superhero name (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Blue Milkshake

7.NASCAR name (the first names of your grandfathers): Harley Wilbur

8.Dancer name (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy): Alien M&M

9.TV weather anchor name (your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter): Bowe Brea

10.Spy name (your favorite season/holiday, flower): Fall G. Daisy

11.Cartoon name:(favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now): Cantelope Diamonds

12.Hippie name (what you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree): Eggo Crepe Myrtle

13.Movie star name (first pet, first street where you lived): Vanilla Eaglespur

You're all invited to join in the reindeer games!

Change in Plans

I feel like the end of this cycle was messy. Not messy in the gross way, but I could never actually tell when my flow really started. I know it came, but this spotting and heavy spotting business is for the birds. (Sorry little birdies).
So I called the RE's office and decided to cancel this cycle and find a better time to meet with the RE. Now I'm not thrilled that this is a non-medicated cycle, but with 4 follicles for the past 3 months, 'perfect' timing from the hcg trigger shot, and lots of BDing, I don't know that I need to push it.
Mentally, I think I'll crack up if I try to push through one more cycle. Especially since I think the RE appointment will tell us if we're going to look at IUIs and/or IVF. I asked a while ago about the cost of IUIs and it really seems to be anywhere between 180 dollars and 2000 per cycle. If my Dr is on the high end, I may have to skip a few months and just go for broke.
That's right, IVF could be on the horizon. Now I'm going to be optimistic about the 'old fashioned way' but not niave.
Of course it all depends on the dear old Dr., but I'm thinking that saving money and a little planning could go a long way.
We'll just have to see I suppose.
Take care, and good luck to all of you at the end of your 2ww...!