Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Back in it ...again

I just called the RE.
Oh my. What an interesting set of feelings I'm having.
No, I'm not PG, just trying to get that way. After last month's trial of se.x for 7 days in a row, I was really hoping that would do the trick. And then it didn't.

So I'm feeling like I have two more embryo's in storage, and I don't want to hem and haw about them. I don't want to ttc for another year and then have to make the decision about what to do. So we're just going to do it.
What spurred this is that we received the storage bill of 600 dollars that is due by June 4th. So it really made me think, am I going to store these two embryo's for the next two years and just try on our own? But then there is a small part of me that thinks since we did get pg, even if only briefly, maybe we don't need this FET? But both DH and I feel an obligation to these embryos to find out if they will take or not. I'd be so conflicted if I got PG without our dr. and then suddenly I'm 38 with 3 kids and have to decide what to do with these embryo's.
If they don't take, then at least we'll KNOW. And if we aren't pg again we'll cross over the bridge of another fresh cycle if/when we come to it.

All I know is, I'm back on the bandwaggon. I just called the RE and made our first appointment for July 5th. I'm a bit surprised that it is a fresh appointment, like starting over again. Meet with a nurse for a history, meet with the dr; go for an ultrasound. I suppose that's what's right, but I even have to get a referral from my primary care physician again, in hopes that my HMO will cover half the cost of the intake appointment. So that appointment is next Tuesday, June 7th.
Can you believe it? Back in it. Trying to win it. I am completely filled with different emotions. Adding number two feels much, much different than number 1 did.

I pray for God's direction in my life, and ask that the Lord would lead my family in the way He sees best.

Wouldn't be great to have another blessing like this one?

1 comment:

PJ said...

That's so exciting! And scary. And EXCITING!

I think that's what I'd do if I was really intentionally trying again. Seems like the more direct route? Does that make sense?

Even driving by the RE's office brings back a flood of memories for me. Good times and bad, you know?

I will be cheering you on. :)