It's hard to let people help. I am fiercely protective of my little one and have a hard time accepting that my schedule has to be accomodating to letting other people help.
But I suppose that's just where I'm at.
For all of you out there with multiples, I just want to say that you're amazing. Having this one baby is so much better AND so much more work than I thought (but COMPLETELY worth it!). My heart goes out to all of you during these first few weeks and months of motherhood when it must be so much more overwhelming than what I'm feeling.
But, God matched us all up perfectly, so I'm super grateful for what I have.
Oh, breast pump time is up, gonna go snuggle with my little one.
Enjoy Tuesday, and Glory to God for all of this!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Lots to say but no time
Hey all,
I'm still reading your blogs, but boy, this little one is keeping me busy. Breastfeeding has not been smooth and right now pumping is my best option. I'll discuss more later. But the girl is healthy and gaining some of the weight she lost (I wasn't making enough milk at home and she dropped almost a pound from her birthweight, hence the pumping on my part). Her weight is back up and we are doing well. My stiches are less irritating and I can't tell you how exciting it is to be able to bend over again! And, get to sleep on my stomach (although this is only for a moment before my boobs get too full of milk and I have to turn on my side).
But she has been worth every inch of pain or discomfort...What a doll. We are so blessed.
More later!
I'm still reading your blogs, but boy, this little one is keeping me busy. Breastfeeding has not been smooth and right now pumping is my best option. I'll discuss more later. But the girl is healthy and gaining some of the weight she lost (I wasn't making enough milk at home and she dropped almost a pound from her birthweight, hence the pumping on my part). Her weight is back up and we are doing well. My stiches are less irritating and I can't tell you how exciting it is to be able to bend over again! And, get to sleep on my stomach (although this is only for a moment before my boobs get too full of milk and I have to turn on my side).
But she has been worth every inch of pain or discomfort...What a doll. We are so blessed.
More later!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Details
(the long version)
Thursday morning I had an office visit since I was 4 days past my due date. They did a NST and this time I recorded the baby's movement as well as recording the heartbeat and contractions. I really hate those external monitors. But all looked well, except that when I came in at the start of the appt my blood pressure was higher than it had been (150/99). On monday the doctor had ordered yet another 24 hour urine test because I had been spilling protein which is of course a sign of pre-eclampsia.
So I left the dr. office office waiting to hear what the results of the urine had been from the day before. The dr. called at 2:30 and said I tested positive for 'mild preeclampsia' so 'game over, we're inducing today'.
I wasn't very upset, in fact, I was pretty happy about it. Finally, we were going to get this show on the road!
So I called DH and told him 'game on' we were going to check into the hospital. He left his track meet and came home and we were checked in and sitting on the hospital bed by 4:20.
Because of the danger of preeclampsia the dr. had ordered me to be put on magnesium, but that wouldn't start until labor began. For now they used prosti.glandin to soften my cervix (which was about 1 1/2, 50%) when I got there. So that dosage wasn't too painful, and the first one was about 5pm-ish on Thursday. The hospital monitored my blood pressure about a billion times while I was there and never once was it high. In fact, it errored on the very low side, especially when I was lying down. Every nurse called my dr. to confirm that I would still need the magnesium because my bp was just dandy, but the dr. insisted.
I got three doses of prostigland.in, each 6 hours apart and by 9 am the next morning my cervix was about a 4, so on with the labor. The dr. came in and broke my water and used internal monitoring (which was so far superiour to the external monitors, but I still see the scratch marks on the baby's head! ouch!) and that really started labor going. I had planned to get an epidural, but I had about 2 hours of active labor before that happened and I'll tell you, for each of you ladies who do it naturally, more power to you, but I felt like a genious after getting an epidural!
This is not a judgemental comment towards anyone, but the feelings before vs. after epidural: night and day. I wasn't feeling those awful contractions and it was nice to be a little more relaxed as I saw the contractions peak at 80!
The woman next door had not opted for an epidural and was screaming her head off so natch I felt like the smartest woman ever. And for the record, the epidural was the easiest, most non-scary part of labor. The anesthesiologist described everything and it was virtually painless.
After that, it was close to 11:15 am and that's when the magnesium and pitocin was started. Things progressed nicely and by 6 the nurse said I was 10 and ready to push. The problem was, the dr. was unavailable until 7 pm. There was an on call dr. but no one thought I'd be ready to deliver so quickly. by 6:45 the baby was just about crowning and epidural or not, the pressure to push was enormous and the nurse made me blow through those last contractions. That was by far the hardest part of this whole thing. They tried to distract me, but at that point there is no way you can just not push. So I did the best I could and about 15 minutes later the dr. came in, the nurse practically put the gown on for her and I was allowed to push. Her head came out easily but I had time stopping to let the dr. guide out the shoulders, so I ended up with a stage 2 tear. Boo! So I sit here with some lovely stiches but at least that part is getting a little better each day. I'll save the first post partum bowl movement discussion for another day. Stitches are not fun!
So at 6:59, our little one was born, and it was crazy. I see this miracle in my husbands arms right now, and if I hadn't seen her come out of me, I never would've believed it. Each child is such a miracle.
I have more to say but Macie is ready for her 5th feeding this morning so I'm signing off.
Thursday morning I had an office visit since I was 4 days past my due date. They did a NST and this time I recorded the baby's movement as well as recording the heartbeat and contractions. I really hate those external monitors. But all looked well, except that when I came in at the start of the appt my blood pressure was higher than it had been (150/99). On monday the doctor had ordered yet another 24 hour urine test because I had been spilling protein which is of course a sign of pre-eclampsia.
So I left the dr. office office waiting to hear what the results of the urine had been from the day before. The dr. called at 2:30 and said I tested positive for 'mild preeclampsia' so 'game over, we're inducing today'.
I wasn't very upset, in fact, I was pretty happy about it. Finally, we were going to get this show on the road!
So I called DH and told him 'game on' we were going to check into the hospital. He left his track meet and came home and we were checked in and sitting on the hospital bed by 4:20.
Because of the danger of preeclampsia the dr. had ordered me to be put on magnesium, but that wouldn't start until labor began. For now they used prosti.glandin to soften my cervix (which was about 1 1/2, 50%) when I got there. So that dosage wasn't too painful, and the first one was about 5pm-ish on Thursday. The hospital monitored my blood pressure about a billion times while I was there and never once was it high. In fact, it errored on the very low side, especially when I was lying down. Every nurse called my dr. to confirm that I would still need the magnesium because my bp was just dandy, but the dr. insisted.
I got three doses of prostigland.in, each 6 hours apart and by 9 am the next morning my cervix was about a 4, so on with the labor. The dr. came in and broke my water and used internal monitoring (which was so far superiour to the external monitors, but I still see the scratch marks on the baby's head! ouch!) and that really started labor going. I had planned to get an epidural, but I had about 2 hours of active labor before that happened and I'll tell you, for each of you ladies who do it naturally, more power to you, but I felt like a genious after getting an epidural!
This is not a judgemental comment towards anyone, but the feelings before vs. after epidural: night and day. I wasn't feeling those awful contractions and it was nice to be a little more relaxed as I saw the contractions peak at 80!
The woman next door had not opted for an epidural and was screaming her head off so natch I felt like the smartest woman ever. And for the record, the epidural was the easiest, most non-scary part of labor. The anesthesiologist described everything and it was virtually painless.
After that, it was close to 11:15 am and that's when the magnesium and pitocin was started. Things progressed nicely and by 6 the nurse said I was 10 and ready to push. The problem was, the dr. was unavailable until 7 pm. There was an on call dr. but no one thought I'd be ready to deliver so quickly. by 6:45 the baby was just about crowning and epidural or not, the pressure to push was enormous and the nurse made me blow through those last contractions. That was by far the hardest part of this whole thing. They tried to distract me, but at that point there is no way you can just not push. So I did the best I could and about 15 minutes later the dr. came in, the nurse practically put the gown on for her and I was allowed to push. Her head came out easily but I had time stopping to let the dr. guide out the shoulders, so I ended up with a stage 2 tear. Boo! So I sit here with some lovely stiches but at least that part is getting a little better each day. I'll save the first post partum bowl movement discussion for another day. Stitches are not fun!
So at 6:59, our little one was born, and it was crazy. I see this miracle in my husbands arms right now, and if I hadn't seen her come out of me, I never would've believed it. Each child is such a miracle.
I have more to say but Macie is ready for her 5th feeding this morning so I'm signing off.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Extrordinary things happen on Ordinary days
She's here!
Macie was born on May 7th at 6:59 PM.
7 lbs 6 oz, all is well. The labor was about 25 hours long, but mostly because I was induced.
We came home from the hospital yesterday and this great adventure has begun!
I will post the birth story soon, I always love reading that on all y'all's blogs, but for now I'll leave you a picture of our little one!
Dh and I always say that the most extrordinary things happen on the most ordinary of days, and I think this fits that category well!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
All the Scenarios...
So thank you for your kind words for my friend Emily...That's really how I'm feeling right now. Such happiness in the middle of such sorrow. And I really think, such is life. This is how most of the world goes.
So now for baby girl update.
At my appt on monday they did a NST for about 30 minutes and the dr. felt the baby looked great. I did however have more protein in my urine. So what does that mean? My 4th 24 hour urine test of the pregnancy. 4th! So I did that yesterday and then turned it in to the lab today and they did some bloodwork as well. Originally my Dr. hoped she'd have those results by tonight and if I did have too much protein they would enduce me for preeclampsia.
However, the first thing I had asked my dr. when she told me I had more protein, was could she just induce me? She said if my cervix wasn't favorable and they induced me then I would be looking at a 50% chance of having a c-section. So I understand her hesitancy, but then she checked me, and said I was one centemeter dialited, but my cervix wasn't terribly soft or effaced, etc. So she scheduled another appointment for tomorrow (Thursday) morning for another NST.
Hopefully she'll have my results by then (but I am not banking on it) and she may be inclined to induce me tomorrow if needed.
Another factor is Emily's memorial service. It's on Saturday. I can't share how desperately I want to be there, but that I want to be there with a healthy baby in my arms. Right now I'm putting that at about a 50% chance. Because inspite of all this week's testing, I could still go into labor on my own at any time!
IF none of the above occurs and baby stays safe and comfortable then I'll be induced on Sunday night.
Yup. I can't think of much else right now. I'm starting to hate maternity leave, because I feel like I'm wasting time. I don't want to just lie around all day, but yesterday I walked for a few hours and that didn't change anything.
Oh, and while DH enjoyed sex, once he heard the report that the dr. had been able to feel the baby's head when she checked my cervix, I think it freaked him out that his man business may be actually able to hit the baby's head as well. So...we'll have to see if that's another option for us. Ha.
Take care ladies, there's a lot going on these days. I'm going to let God's grace and some TLC channel help pass the time.
Oh, and maybe some frozen yogurt for lunch.
So now for baby girl update.
At my appt on monday they did a NST for about 30 minutes and the dr. felt the baby looked great. I did however have more protein in my urine. So what does that mean? My 4th 24 hour urine test of the pregnancy. 4th! So I did that yesterday and then turned it in to the lab today and they did some bloodwork as well. Originally my Dr. hoped she'd have those results by tonight and if I did have too much protein they would enduce me for preeclampsia.
However, the first thing I had asked my dr. when she told me I had more protein, was could she just induce me? She said if my cervix wasn't favorable and they induced me then I would be looking at a 50% chance of having a c-section. So I understand her hesitancy, but then she checked me, and said I was one centemeter dialited, but my cervix wasn't terribly soft or effaced, etc. So she scheduled another appointment for tomorrow (Thursday) morning for another NST.
Hopefully she'll have my results by then (but I am not banking on it) and she may be inclined to induce me tomorrow if needed.
Another factor is Emily's memorial service. It's on Saturday. I can't share how desperately I want to be there, but that I want to be there with a healthy baby in my arms. Right now I'm putting that at about a 50% chance. Because inspite of all this week's testing, I could still go into labor on my own at any time!
IF none of the above occurs and baby stays safe and comfortable then I'll be induced on Sunday night.
Yup. I can't think of much else right now. I'm starting to hate maternity leave, because I feel like I'm wasting time. I don't want to just lie around all day, but yesterday I walked for a few hours and that didn't change anything.
Oh, and while DH enjoyed sex, once he heard the report that the dr. had been able to feel the baby's head when she checked my cervix, I think it freaked him out that his man business may be actually able to hit the baby's head as well. So...we'll have to see if that's another option for us. Ha.
Take care ladies, there's a lot going on these days. I'm going to let God's grace and some TLC channel help pass the time.
Oh, and maybe some frozen yogurt for lunch.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Emily
My heart is broken, but still overflowing.
My friend Emily has Cystic Fibrosis. If you aren't familiar with this, it's a genetic disease that can affect either your respiratory system or digestive system. My friend Emily was affected by both.
Typically Emily is a really healthy person. She has worked so hard in life not let this disease rule her and until about 3 months ago, she consistantely beat CF. She would be in and out of the hopsital perhaps 3 times a year, but other than that, she was really healthy. She had a number of medical treatments she had to do each day, but if you didn't know that, you would never know something was different with her. Except that she coughed a lot.
About 3 months ago they found a new bacteria in her lungs and tried to kill it with antibiotics. The problem is for many CF patients that they become immune to antibiotics because they spend so much of their life on them.
Emily passed away on Saturday. Emily, who was only 27, full of life, and a big part of my life for the past 9 1/2 years is gone.
We only got to see her once while she was in ICU these last few months, mostly because she was just so sick. She had gone into kidney failure and was on a transplant list for that, and her lung infection finally spread to her blood, and that was it. When we saw her though, she was on a ventilator and a trach was in her throat, so we decided to tell her what our baby's name is. She was the only person on this planet who knew. And now, as my mom pointed out, it's nice to think that while we're waiting for this little baby to get here, Emily (who was a warrior in her faith) is already with her in heaven until the baby gets here.
What else is crazy is that her funeral is Saturday. It's quite possible I won't be able to make it to the funeral depending on the schedule of this little one. I'll update on yesterday's appointment soon, but for now, I just want to encourage all of us to remember how important our relationships are. That's all we get to take with us.
My heart is broken, but my cup still runneth over.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
39 weeks 6 days
So here I am...
Pregnant.
Greatful for that, but still pregnant.
Mentally it's like this: Someone tells you that you're whole life is about to change. And then that person gets distracted by something shiny and walks away.
It's this rediculous waiting game.
The first few days of maternity leave were really nice. I felt like I deserved them and I was busy finishing things.
But now, my thank you notes are written, the nursery is done, the infant to 3 month clothes have been washed...and I'm still pregnant.
The dr. appointment this week was anti-climactic again. She didn't check me. The heartbeat was good, bp was okay, not great but okay. No reasons to persue further intervention. So this is where my anticipation has set in. I really thought that Wednesday would be this magical day. But it's not.
So now, if I don't have this baby by monday I have an appointment for a Non stress test in the afternoon and then if still no baby another NST later on that week. She said she won't let me go beyond 41 weeks, so what I'm hoping is that this means she would induce next Friday instead of making me wait through ANOTHER weekend next week.
What I'm really hoping is that this baby will come today. Or tonight. Or tomorrow...or soon!
That's the update! Today I woke up with a big headache, I'm trying not to read anything into that, but I'm resting and hoping this baby girl will be good to go soon!
Pregnant.
Greatful for that, but still pregnant.
Mentally it's like this: Someone tells you that you're whole life is about to change. And then that person gets distracted by something shiny and walks away.
It's this rediculous waiting game.
The first few days of maternity leave were really nice. I felt like I deserved them and I was busy finishing things.
But now, my thank you notes are written, the nursery is done, the infant to 3 month clothes have been washed...and I'm still pregnant.
The dr. appointment this week was anti-climactic again. She didn't check me. The heartbeat was good, bp was okay, not great but okay. No reasons to persue further intervention. So this is where my anticipation has set in. I really thought that Wednesday would be this magical day. But it's not.
So now, if I don't have this baby by monday I have an appointment for a Non stress test in the afternoon and then if still no baby another NST later on that week. She said she won't let me go beyond 41 weeks, so what I'm hoping is that this means she would induce next Friday instead of making me wait through ANOTHER weekend next week.
What I'm really hoping is that this baby will come today. Or tonight. Or tomorrow...or soon!
That's the update! Today I woke up with a big headache, I'm trying not to read anything into that, but I'm resting and hoping this baby girl will be good to go soon!
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