Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Counting Chickens

We sent out (or I'm in the process of sending out) Christmas cards this year.
But this year is different.
This year, we have baby girl on the way, and I'm 20 weeks pregnant. When I look at the cards from friends in years past, when they were half way there, they mentioned it on the card.
Ex: Merry Christmas from Dan, Lucy, Matt, Emily, and baby due in March!
Or other more cutsie wordings.

So why couldn't I do it? Everyone we're sending a card to knows we're pregnant, but somehow, I couldn't justify doing that. That 'what if' question just lingers in my head.

So instead we have a cute card with two pictures of us and one picture of our dogs. Its a good card, but ... when will I just accept that as of now I'm pregnant and it's not a lie to put it on a Christmas card?

I always told myself that whenever we actually got pregnant I would enjoy it and not wait for something to go wrong. But here I am, waiting for something to go wrong. And I hate it.
I suppose that should be my New Years' Resolution, right? It should probably be a chance for me to accept by faith that this is where we're at, and I am a mother, just not to a baby I've met yet.

So, that's where I'm at. Battling between being very happy and excited, to feeling like I am counting my chicken's before they're hatched.

Did you guys put anything on your Christmas cards?


Shelby said...

I spent my entire pregnancy trying to avoid counting those chickens. It's a side effect of IF, but now that hindsight is 20/20 and I know everything worked out, I regret not enjoying my pregnancy more. Even if it had not ended well, I think I would have regretted not enjoying what I could. I hope you are able to find more freedom in doing what I could not!

Lisa said...

I signed Chloe Jo's name to our Christmas card last year. We also included a picture of us with me making a heart over my belly with my hands. I couldn't help but be afraid, but at the same time I also made myself enjoy my pregnancy and get excited about it!

WantWait&Pray said...

I hear ya...but I also felt like every step of this process was a "take a deep breath and go" type of a thing. From taking a test, telling our families, telling our close friends....it all feels like it's a very scary leap of faith to "say it out loud" but it's a journey that requires faith because how INCREDIBLE is it that a human (2 humans in my case) are growing away inside of you? A true miracle.
So.....though I struggled with this as well...we decided to include our little one's on the card and I held my breath, dropped the envelopes in the mail and put this whole miraculous journey into God's hands.

PJ said...

I totally understand. All I want right now is another ultrasound so that I have some cold hard proof!

But Shelby's right. I'll regret fretting the whole time if I do.

Michelle said...

I think its only natural for those who have gone though so much and lost so much in the process.

You are 20 weeks now. You are half way there.

I think your safe. ;)

Maybe just put 'baby to be'.

No matter what happens, in the end of all this...your baby IS a baby to be.

Beth Smith said...

I was the same way with pregnancy. I didn't tell people until 12weeks, they gave me hell, but it was my choice.

who said life is fair said...

my card is only my cat.
the baby can be featured next year when she's here.

i think it's a wee bit odd to call out the fetus on the card. but that's just me.

i finally told work at 22wks but by that point it just became such a game to me about how long i could hide it that it wasn't even about being nervous anymore.

i say if you're on the fence just feature you/husband and dogs.