Tuesday, November 2, 2010

#2

I've been thinking more about number 2 lately. Not because I want to jump on the bandwaggon right now, but because a lot of friends of mine seem to be moving on to the second child.
I think I shared that I had a dream a few months ago that I was pregnant and it was more of a nightmare. I remember feeling like I didn't have enough time with just Macie and I was just so exhausted that I couldn't fathom starting over from scratch.
And while I still feel that way, I know that I am still the same woman who tried for 3 years without success and it's unlikely we'll get PG again on our own. If God wants us to we will, but I also know that we have two more frozen embryos we need to consider.
Last night at bible study, one woman was discussing new years eve cocktails, and trying to find good non-alcholic ones, because she'll be pregnant by then. It still shocks me to hear people talk like that. Not because she shouldn't, but because she can. I don't hold a grudge against anyone who gets pregnant easily. That's just as wrong as someone thinking I'm wrong for doing IVF. But it still makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up when people speak so freely about getting pregnant.
So next summer seems to be a good compromise for us. We'll see what the Lord has in store for us then.

4 comments:

Alex and Jill said...

Oh girl...I think the same as you. The thought of #2 right now - makes me have a slight heart attack. We so aren't ready to add another to the mix. I've just had to give it to God and when He's ready, I trust He will give me peace and put the desire in my heart to go through it all again! And wouldn't it be nice...to just think about it and be able to get pregnant? That's what it's like for so many. I can't even imgaine. :)

Alex and Jill said...

*imagine. :)

Courtney said...

I never understood that either?! People who "plan" their pregnancies around holidays, birthdays, whatever time of the year suits them! Oh.. to have that luxury. LOL

It took us almost 3 years too.. so it will be hard to "plan" on giving our upcoming son a sibling someday because who knows how long it will take again?? All you can do is start trying and let God intervene like he did with your first! It will all work out. =)

God bless

Ashley said...

I can so relate to this comment: "It still shocks me to hear people talk like that. Not because she shouldn't, but because she can."

Hang in there. When you are ready, you will know.