After 3 years of trying, our little one joined us in May of 2010. 2 years later she became a big sister! Join us as we try to grow our family and sing God's praises.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
I'm an Expert
Edited... Oh my word. I'm totally going to have to be in counseling when this is all over. Enjoy the down hill of your week!
Hmmm...what to say? I mean, how can anyone who's truly experienced IF (and more than a year of BFNs) be completely sympathetic at this point? I mean, we all know how heart breaking it is to be faced with that BFN month after month, but in the same respect, 6 months? As heart wrenching as it is, it's just not that long in the world of fertility. I wouldn't be surprised if her OB/GYN is turning her away at the door.
Perhaps you can 'reassure' her in the plain fact that it can take couples without any fertility issues up to a year to conceive. If after that time, they're still having issues, then pursuing the tests makes sense. Freaking out makes sense. But as it stands, she's not being very sympathetic to you by being prematurely melodramatic.
6 months. I remember being devastated at 6 months, devastated at 1 year and so on. I feel for her, but unfortunately, six months is not that long and she needs to chill out. Plus, it's quite insensitive for her to be telling you all of this knowing what you are going through. If she just wanted advice, I could see, but putting the burden of her negative pee sticks on you is just wrong.
BTW, I had what we believe to have been implantation bleeding. It makes sense with everything that happened and that Bazkenaz is behind a few days. I haven't ever heard that it's a myth, but I've heard that it's very uncommon.
Good luck with your SIL. I don't think I could handle that.
I soooo feel for you - I can't even tell you how much I relate to your post today! My SIL is also trying, and although she didn't tell me that personally (we don't have a very close relationship), our husbands (who are brothers) communicate regularly about this kind of stuff.
I know exactly what you mean - you don't want to wish IF on any one, but you also don't want to deal with all of the family complications that will come from her pregnancy while you're going through IF.
It doesn't sound like she's being very sensitive to you - I'm curious how much she knows about your situation. There's absolutely no contest between 6 months and 24 months - not even worth comparing the two. At 6 months, there's still that ridiculous sense of optimism and hope that is NONEXISTENT at times by the time 20+ months rolls around.
I hope you can hang in there - I find that limiting my time with people like this helps (even when it's not a popular decision). Also, I've learned that ultimately I can deal with whatever comes up even though the thought of it is always so very awful.
Just try to focus on you and where you are in your IF journey. That's all that really matters. I always try to remember that everyone else is just on the sidelines.
If you need to process this one further, please let me know. I'm in your boat - trust me! :)
3 comments:
Hmmm...what to say? I mean, how can anyone who's truly experienced IF (and more than a year of BFNs) be completely sympathetic at this point? I mean, we all know how heart breaking it is to be faced with that BFN month after month, but in the same respect, 6 months? As heart wrenching as it is, it's just not that long in the world of fertility. I wouldn't be surprised if her OB/GYN is turning her away at the door.
Perhaps you can 'reassure' her in the plain fact that it can take couples without any fertility issues up to a year to conceive. If after that time, they're still having issues, then pursuing the tests makes sense. Freaking out makes sense. But as it stands, she's not being very sympathetic to you by being prematurely melodramatic.
6 months. I remember being devastated at 6 months, devastated at 1 year and so on. I feel for her, but unfortunately, six months is not that long and she needs to chill out. Plus, it's quite insensitive for her to be telling you all of this knowing what you are going through. If she just wanted advice, I could see, but putting the burden of her negative pee sticks on you is just wrong.
BTW, I had what we believe to have been implantation bleeding. It makes sense with everything that happened and that Bazkenaz is behind a few days. I haven't ever heard that it's a myth, but I've heard that it's very uncommon.
Good luck with your SIL. I don't think I could handle that.
I soooo feel for you - I can't even tell you how much I relate to your post today! My SIL is also trying, and although she didn't tell me that personally (we don't have a very close relationship), our husbands (who are brothers) communicate regularly about this kind of stuff.
I know exactly what you mean - you don't want to wish IF on any one, but you also don't want to deal with all of the family complications that will come from her pregnancy while you're going through IF.
It doesn't sound like she's being very sensitive to you - I'm curious how much she knows about your situation. There's absolutely no contest between 6 months and 24 months - not even worth comparing the two. At 6 months, there's still that ridiculous sense of optimism and hope that is NONEXISTENT at times by the time 20+ months rolls around.
I hope you can hang in there - I find that limiting my time with people like this helps (even when it's not a popular decision). Also, I've learned that ultimately I can deal with whatever comes up even though the thought of it is always so very awful.
Just try to focus on you and where you are in your IF journey. That's all that really matters. I always try to remember that everyone else is just on the sidelines.
If you need to process this one further, please let me know. I'm in your boat - trust me! :)
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