Two more weeks of work. Three weeks until due date.
I had a week off for Easter Break that ends tonight.
I will have to wear flip flops for the last two weeks of work, my feet are perma-swollen.
I played my last church service without child today. I didn't even get emotional.
I may find myself asking to be let out of work earlier than I had planned. It depends on how this week goes I suppose. But when I go out has nothing to do with when I go back as Summer Break starts super early for us this year (well for us in So. Cal). We're out June 3rd where other districts out here are in school until June 24th.
Baby where are you!? Are you in there? I'm torn between wanting you out and wanting you to cook for another 3 weeks.
3 Weeks! That's all we have left! Today is 37 weeks. Yes, I'm feeling antsy. Soon I will be nesting!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
Spring Break
I haven't posted because we've been busy! Today is the last day of Spring Break from work and it's been lovely, but we've definately been busy! Some good, some very sad, but very busy.
First, is that my Uncle died last week. He had cancer for the last 3 years and it was expected, but when a 52 year old police Sherriff who other than the cancer is very healthy dies, it's a tough pill to swallow.
The neat thing is that by all accounts he really accepted the Lord in his life before he died and there is confidence about where he is now.
The hard thing is that he had 5 children, 7 grandchildren and died the day after his 34th wedding anniversary.
So the funeral was last Saturday and it was awesome. There were over 100 uniformed officers who gave a salute to the casket and family as we walked out. Also, since he ended his career on the search and rescue air support division, at the graveside service there was a 5 helicopter fly by that was so touching I am welling up with tears right now just remembering it. It's a beautiful thing to celebrate a life like that.
But then, being 36 weeks pregnant, I was a blubbering mess for the entire cermony. No person likes a funeral, but being that I cry at EVERYTHING, I didn't stand a chance. I even brought in a water bottle and extra tissues because I knew I would be crying the whole time. It was a beautiful service.
Then Easter was Sunday and the whole family got together the next day. It was nice, because we got to rehash the beautiful cermony, but it's so hard that both my grandparents are still alive and watching someone lose their son...especially your Grandfather...geez.
Okay, on to some of the happier times...
I think DH and I just kept putting things off saying, we'll get that done over Spring Break, and now we feel like, man, if we don't do this now than we're not gonna get this done before baby girl comes.
So, it started with the nursery closet. It was a standard reach in closet of the 80s before DH got his hands on it. But he took all that out and put in the white wire stuff that you can get at hom.e depot. He did a fabulous job. Now, all the baby's clothes are hung and it's all well organized. That took about another day. Just spending time in the nursery figuring out where everything goes.
But then we realized that the master closet should be redone the same way to make more room. And true confession, until now, we haven't shared a closet. Anyone want to admit to that? We've been married for over 4 years and my husband has had all his clothes in the guest room. Now he volunteered for this, but since we have 3 bedroom house and it's been just the two of us, why bother smushing all our stuff together? Well now as I lie on the couch with my swollen feet up, he's finishing the master closet so we can share. I just hope I can keep in cleen enough for him now that we're sharing! No more clothes on the floor!
And then tomorrow is our last shower. It should be a nice time, it's being put on by the ladies at church, and I'm grateful. Then Sunday will actually be my last time playing in the band before the baby is born. It's just getting too awkward to play the guitar. It has rotated all the way to my side because my belly is so big. So I'm thinking it'll be the end of may before I play in the band again.
Then two more weeks of work (if I make it that long) before Maternity leave. Um, yikes. This is for real.
I have more to post, but I am feeling like this is a looooong post already, and most of you probably quit a while ago, but if you made it this far, thanks!
Happy April,
Courtney
First, is that my Uncle died last week. He had cancer for the last 3 years and it was expected, but when a 52 year old police Sherriff who other than the cancer is very healthy dies, it's a tough pill to swallow.
The neat thing is that by all accounts he really accepted the Lord in his life before he died and there is confidence about where he is now.
The hard thing is that he had 5 children, 7 grandchildren and died the day after his 34th wedding anniversary.
So the funeral was last Saturday and it was awesome. There were over 100 uniformed officers who gave a salute to the casket and family as we walked out. Also, since he ended his career on the search and rescue air support division, at the graveside service there was a 5 helicopter fly by that was so touching I am welling up with tears right now just remembering it. It's a beautiful thing to celebrate a life like that.
But then, being 36 weeks pregnant, I was a blubbering mess for the entire cermony. No person likes a funeral, but being that I cry at EVERYTHING, I didn't stand a chance. I even brought in a water bottle and extra tissues because I knew I would be crying the whole time. It was a beautiful service.
Then Easter was Sunday and the whole family got together the next day. It was nice, because we got to rehash the beautiful cermony, but it's so hard that both my grandparents are still alive and watching someone lose their son...especially your Grandfather...geez.
Okay, on to some of the happier times...
I think DH and I just kept putting things off saying, we'll get that done over Spring Break, and now we feel like, man, if we don't do this now than we're not gonna get this done before baby girl comes.
So, it started with the nursery closet. It was a standard reach in closet of the 80s before DH got his hands on it. But he took all that out and put in the white wire stuff that you can get at hom.e depot. He did a fabulous job. Now, all the baby's clothes are hung and it's all well organized. That took about another day. Just spending time in the nursery figuring out where everything goes.
But then we realized that the master closet should be redone the same way to make more room. And true confession, until now, we haven't shared a closet. Anyone want to admit to that? We've been married for over 4 years and my husband has had all his clothes in the guest room. Now he volunteered for this, but since we have 3 bedroom house and it's been just the two of us, why bother smushing all our stuff together? Well now as I lie on the couch with my swollen feet up, he's finishing the master closet so we can share. I just hope I can keep in cleen enough for him now that we're sharing! No more clothes on the floor!
And then tomorrow is our last shower. It should be a nice time, it's being put on by the ladies at church, and I'm grateful. Then Sunday will actually be my last time playing in the band before the baby is born. It's just getting too awkward to play the guitar. It has rotated all the way to my side because my belly is so big. So I'm thinking it'll be the end of may before I play in the band again.
Then two more weeks of work (if I make it that long) before Maternity leave. Um, yikes. This is for real.
I have more to post, but I am feeling like this is a looooong post already, and most of you probably quit a while ago, but if you made it this far, thanks!
Happy April,
Courtney
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
The Neatest Feeling
I'm sitting in my classroom entering grades. The students left about 25 minutes ago and I'm all alone.
But then my baby kicks me. And I'm realizing, I'm actually not alone. There's another heartbeat in this room.
She's at the moment kicking me in two places. I'm imagining that she's upside down and her hands are pushing out below my belly button and her feet are kicking me under my boobs. She's trying her 'Kraw Ma-Ga" (or however you spell that) out on me.
I swear you guys, this is the coolest feeling.
But then my baby kicks me. And I'm realizing, I'm actually not alone. There's another heartbeat in this room.
She's at the moment kicking me in two places. I'm imagining that she's upside down and her hands are pushing out below my belly button and her feet are kicking me under my boobs. She's trying her 'Kraw Ma-Ga" (or however you spell that) out on me.
I swear you guys, this is the coolest feeling.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Dr. Report
Glory to God, we've got a healthy lookin' baby in there!
We went to the perinatologist today and both the ultrasound tech and the Dr. confirmed that the baby is big.
The brain symmetry is just what they like to see, no signs of hydrocephalus.
I wanted to cry just from the relief. I do believe a few happy tears squeaked out. Thank you everyone who prayed.
I've been trying so hard not to be worried about this dr. appointment that I now feel so relieved. I know anything can still happen, but I'm still trying to choose optimism about all things, not just this one instance of fear.
So now I can be optimistic about our baby shower this coming saturday. My mom and SIL are throwing it, and I'm very excited. My mom is so excited, I just talked to her and she was saying that she actually feels more excited about this shower than when it was her own baby. It's fun to see her so excited.
I'll post more soon, I'm just so grateful for our good news and I continually pray for you ladies and your families, present and future.
We went to the perinatologist today and both the ultrasound tech and the Dr. confirmed that the baby is big.
The brain symmetry is just what they like to see, no signs of hydrocephalus.
I wanted to cry just from the relief. I do believe a few happy tears squeaked out. Thank you everyone who prayed.
I've been trying so hard not to be worried about this dr. appointment that I now feel so relieved. I know anything can still happen, but I'm still trying to choose optimism about all things, not just this one instance of fear.
So now I can be optimistic about our baby shower this coming saturday. My mom and SIL are throwing it, and I'm very excited. My mom is so excited, I just talked to her and she was saying that she actually feels more excited about this shower than when it was her own baby. It's fun to see her so excited.
I'll post more soon, I'm just so grateful for our good news and I continually pray for you ladies and your families, present and future.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
I choose Optimisim
I haven't posted much lately, because frankly there isn't much to post about. DH and I are feeling much more positive about our appointments tomorrow and Friday. This baby is an answer to prayer and no matter what the outcome, she is the baby we are meant to have, so we're really excited to see what the Lord has in store for her and us. Also, being postive is much more enjoyable than being sad.
That beings said, yesterday evening was tough. I am in the midst of so many changes in life (my uncle is really sick, one of my good friends is really sick, I have been laid off from my teaching job next year, plus the baby's head issue...) that I got kinda down on myself. I was at band practice for church last night and driving home, I was just so frustrated.
How awesome is my DH? I got home and he was working on a home improvement project. He asked what I needed and I replied a diet coke, so off to mcd.onalds we went (it's still weird not having soda in the house these days, but besides my lapse last night, there has been very little diet coke in my life these last few months...the things we do for babies!). Well I think the baby liked the splash of diet coke (and a vanilla cone) because I only got up one time to go to the bathroom last night.
For those of you in late pregnancy, you can appriciate how spectacular that is. I slept for almost 4 hours without getting up to urinate. I have so much more energy this morning and I'm so much more full of optimisim! I haven't slept well for a week or so, and ... well, I now can say I have an idea of how much sleep really matters, which of course scares me for the journey to come of breast feeding in the middle of the night. Yikes! A journey I'm glad to take, but well aware of how hard it will be to not sleep for long periods of time.
And then tonight is our first prepared childbirth class at the hospital. I am really excited, but I think it's funny that we have to bring a blanket and pillows. I'm flashing to the scene in the movie summ.er school where the pregnant teenager makes her teacher go to lamaze with her and they carry in all the pillows. Random, but that's in my head.
At least I get to take tomorrow and Friday off from work for these appointments. Keep those prayers coming, and thank you for those of you who have been thinking of us and our little one. I'll update when i know more. Enjoy the rest of the week!
That beings said, yesterday evening was tough. I am in the midst of so many changes in life (my uncle is really sick, one of my good friends is really sick, I have been laid off from my teaching job next year, plus the baby's head issue...) that I got kinda down on myself. I was at band practice for church last night and driving home, I was just so frustrated.
How awesome is my DH? I got home and he was working on a home improvement project. He asked what I needed and I replied a diet coke, so off to mcd.onalds we went (it's still weird not having soda in the house these days, but besides my lapse last night, there has been very little diet coke in my life these last few months...the things we do for babies!). Well I think the baby liked the splash of diet coke (and a vanilla cone) because I only got up one time to go to the bathroom last night.
For those of you in late pregnancy, you can appriciate how spectacular that is. I slept for almost 4 hours without getting up to urinate. I have so much more energy this morning and I'm so much more full of optimisim! I haven't slept well for a week or so, and ... well, I now can say I have an idea of how much sleep really matters, which of course scares me for the journey to come of breast feeding in the middle of the night. Yikes! A journey I'm glad to take, but well aware of how hard it will be to not sleep for long periods of time.
And then tonight is our first prepared childbirth class at the hospital. I am really excited, but I think it's funny that we have to bring a blanket and pillows. I'm flashing to the scene in the movie summ.er school where the pregnant teenager makes her teacher go to lamaze with her and they carry in all the pillows. Random, but that's in my head.
At least I get to take tomorrow and Friday off from work for these appointments. Keep those prayers coming, and thank you for those of you who have been thinking of us and our little one. I'll update when i know more. Enjoy the rest of the week!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
waiting waiting waiting
The next appointment the Fetal Diagnostics center has is next Thurday, the 25th. So I'm going in for the ultrasound then. I believe I'm meeting with the perinatologist as well, but when being told of the appointment they didn't mention seeing that doctor. Will the Peri do the ultrasound? Besides my fabulous IVF doctor, I haven't had an actual doctor perform an ultrasound this whole pregnancy. Just the Ultrasound techs who have been nice, but they're not doctors, so they don't discuss the results.
Then the next day, Friday, I have a follow up appointment with my regular OB.
So now...I wait?
I have looked up so much information on Hydrocephalus that's it's crazy. That's the fancy term for water on the brain. What I am shocked by, is the amount of babies born with this. Across the board the numbers seem to be between 1 in 3000 babies and 1 in 500 babies. All the statistics lie between those numbers.
Um, that is a very frequent issue. So why do my baby books say nothing about it, other than that a amniocentecis can detect it? The books don't even explain what it is.
This has been a hard couple of days. I have less than 7 weeks left until my due date, but I'm feeling like I'm in the ultimate 2ww to find out if I'm pregnant. I'm dreaming about it.
When anyone has asked me in the last two days how I'm feeling or how I'm doing, I find it really hard to answer that question. I am feeling like God is good, but that I'm in the desert place, or the road marked with suffering. I feel robbed of the joy of pregnancy. Even right now, she's moving around inside me, and I just can't help but think how could there be something wrong with her?
But to end with some positivity, because Lord knows we need it (really, He does!), it's that all of this is in God's hands, and I know that this little girl is exactly the baby I'm supposed to have. I get to be her mommy, and I look forward to holding her and again, have I mentioned that DH has a huge head? Really, we measured last night. It's big! Maybe this is how we can be sure that our IVF clinic used the correct embryo's. Definately our child.
Thanks for your prayers, and I'm still coveting them from you. May we all be blessed with happy, healthy children!
Then the next day, Friday, I have a follow up appointment with my regular OB.
So now...I wait?
I have looked up so much information on Hydrocephalus that's it's crazy. That's the fancy term for water on the brain. What I am shocked by, is the amount of babies born with this. Across the board the numbers seem to be between 1 in 3000 babies and 1 in 500 babies. All the statistics lie between those numbers.
Um, that is a very frequent issue. So why do my baby books say nothing about it, other than that a amniocentecis can detect it? The books don't even explain what it is.
This has been a hard couple of days. I have less than 7 weeks left until my due date, but I'm feeling like I'm in the ultimate 2ww to find out if I'm pregnant. I'm dreaming about it.
When anyone has asked me in the last two days how I'm feeling or how I'm doing, I find it really hard to answer that question. I am feeling like God is good, but that I'm in the desert place, or the road marked with suffering. I feel robbed of the joy of pregnancy. Even right now, she's moving around inside me, and I just can't help but think how could there be something wrong with her?
But to end with some positivity, because Lord knows we need it (really, He does!), it's that all of this is in God's hands, and I know that this little girl is exactly the baby I'm supposed to have. I get to be her mommy, and I look forward to holding her and again, have I mentioned that DH has a huge head? Really, we measured last night. It's big! Maybe this is how we can be sure that our IVF clinic used the correct embryo's. Definately our child.
Thanks for your prayers, and I'm still coveting them from you. May we all be blessed with happy, healthy children!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Not so Great
So I met with dr. Tata's yesterday. She said the baby's head is measuring big. I had the most recent ultrasound at 32 weeks and she said the head was measuring 35-36 weeks.
This could be very bad. Water on the brain.
This could be nothing. Just a big noggin.
But she's sending me to a high risk ob for a level 2 ultrasound.
There were lots of tears last night, and it was one of the most sleepless nights I've had. DH was great and feels the same way I do...scared but still holding out hope. DH does have a large head. At the optomitrists office he can only pick from a few types of glasses because they don't make them in his size.
We don't want to tell anyone IRL until we have something to share, but I'm supposed to have my high risk appointment this week - it's just that it was 5:30 by the time I left Dr. TaTa's office so the other office was already closed.
Would you pray for me family? It's weird to be so close and having a shower in a few weeks, but then thinking that the worst case scenario really is a worst case scenario.
My heart is heavy.
This could be very bad. Water on the brain.
This could be nothing. Just a big noggin.
But she's sending me to a high risk ob for a level 2 ultrasound.
There were lots of tears last night, and it was one of the most sleepless nights I've had. DH was great and feels the same way I do...scared but still holding out hope. DH does have a large head. At the optomitrists office he can only pick from a few types of glasses because they don't make them in his size.
We don't want to tell anyone IRL until we have something to share, but I'm supposed to have my high risk appointment this week - it's just that it was 5:30 by the time I left Dr. TaTa's office so the other office was already closed.
Would you pray for me family? It's weird to be so close and having a shower in a few weeks, but then thinking that the worst case scenario really is a worst case scenario.
My heart is heavy.
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